Choices
by JanetAndrews
Summary: What could have happened after their one special night. Love is not all there is.
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own the characters or the rights to this movie. Nor do I make money from this. This is all for my fun - and hopefully for someone else's._

_This story came about when I heard a story about how two people who I care about very much, met each other. I took the story of OSN a little out of the original time flow but I think this is something that could have happened to these characters. I hope you can see that too. Enjoy :)_

It was cold that day. The wet snow slammed against her window and the cold crept up on her, causing her to shiver in her woollen cardigan that was hidden beneath a soft blanket, wrapped around her shoulders. Her stiff fingers drummed against the tea glass in her hands, the liquid inside warming her palms. Outside it was quiet, the entire world was covered in a thick layer of snow, the sight seemed fluffy and comfortable – in reality the frozen sidewalk was nothing less than treacherous and a danger for those who never learned to watch their steps. She took a sip and swallowed her tea, her throat felt like sand paper and she lifted her hand to rub her throat, as if that would help her feel better. Her fever had increased again; she didn't even need a thermometer to check it. Her muscles were aching, her cheeks burning and her headache seemed to paralyse her, banging inside her temple in a rhythmic pattern. She reached out to place down her tea glass and rip another tissue from the box on the windowsill, causing her rocking chair to move a little and she sat back, pressing the soft paper against her eyes. She didn't even know if the tears that formed in her eyes were a result of her physical or her psychic condition. But she knew they threatened to roll down her cheeks and she rather prevented that. For three days straight now. Oh sweet Lord.

Was it worth it? To put her life on hold for a man who had never asked her to wait around for him? Was it worth it to stay the woman in the shadow, trying to get a smile on his face with all her strength so he could carry on? Was it worth to keep her thoughts and dreams to herself because he had enough troubles as it was already? She didn't know. She rubbed her temple with her fingertips, vaguely registering a faint sting in her empty stomach. When was the last time she had a good meal? This morning? Yesterday evening?

Maybe, some day she would learn to grasp why it was that she was still sitting here like a damned fool, waiting by the phone for a sign of life – when she knew all too well he wasn't going to give it to her. In some twisted way the phone was her best friend and her worst enemy at the same time. It was her connection to the outside world but also a silent sign that she was alone. And at times like this she could hear the silence in the living room, the clock ticking the minutes away ruthlessly. She should go to bed and let the phone ring if it did. Maybe she needed a little distance. Maybe she would finally understand why she could only remember the glorious sensation he brought out in her when he was with her, while the dark stings of pain took possession over her when he left. Maybe she would ever know. Probably not.

She shivered and closed the blanket around her firmer, shielding herself from the cruelty of her own body. It ached. Everything ached. Her pain. Her heart. Her sorrow. Her choice even. He had never asked her for anything but she had decided to give. Like she kept on giving in the past, she was giving in the present and if nothing would change – she would be giving until the day she would die. He was tender, he was dear, he was sweet and he was grateful. Grateful for her love, care and devotion. For her warmth, sincerity, generosity and trust. He had thanked her for being in his life. She knew that she was his. But he wasn't hers.

How in the world did she end up in a situation like this anyway? Why was it that every time she seemed to find a goal in life again, her own stupidity seemed to wreck it? Why did she ever let him in, she should have known better in the first place. She should have known she would end up in this confused emotional state, she had felt it from the first night she had laid eyes on him. Back then her body had reacted on him right away; did she really think she would be able to control her feelings when she allowed him to come closer? Of course not. She was a fool. A damned lonely fool with a heart that was big enough to help the entire world – but she couldn't help herself anymore.

She had lost weight. He didn't know that because she hadn't told him. And she never let him touch her so he wouldn't feel it. But she had, the scale in her bathroom told her every day she wasn't doing well. As if she didn't know that already. No she wasn't doing well, she should take her life back again. Being able to stand there as the strong woman she really was, to stand up for herself, to protect herself. To cry when she wanted to, and oh god she wanted to.

Every word he spilled hurt her. Every story he shared broke something inside her. Every anecdote he told seemed to falter her self esteem. And she allowed him. Because he was a stronger man when he left her house. Because she meant something to him. Because she knew that he needed her in order to survive. And that thought frightened her. She was more scared than she had ever been. And she didn't want to be scared anymore. She wanted to be able to look herself straight in the eye.

Oh there had been times in which she wanted to tell him. When he was sitting there in his favourite chair, finally asking how she was doing. The words were already forming in her mouth but she swallowed them back when she saw his sincere face looking at her. He had never promised her anything. She was his friend. Not his lover. Not his wife. His friend and confidant. And all the letters she had written to him. Pages and pages of explanation and excuses. That she couldn't see him anymore. How much she loved him. And how angry she was at life and at herself for losing control like this. One letter she had actually taken out to the mailbox – but instead of dropping it in there she'd let it fall in the trashcan next to it. She was a coward.

The doorbell startled her and she had to tear herself away from her comfortable position in her chair, stammering on her way over to the front door. The tiles felt cold under her slippers and she shivered, closing her blanket firmer around her shoulders. Her way to the front door seemed to take hours, vaguely registering a faint image of the mailman through the stained glass. She never said anything when she opened the door for him, she managed to smile politely at him before she accepted the small package and closed the outside world out again. Moving back to her chair she sat down, staring at the box in her hands. It was quite heavy really; she couldn't remember that she had ordered something.

Carefully she opened it, unfolding the piece of paper that was inside and a smile tugged on her lips when she saw what it was attached to. She placed the jar with peanut butter on her windowsill and shrugged herself in her blanket again. She smiled again. He knew.

So was it worth to wait around? No. But she knew already she would keep on doing it. Because his wife needed him. Because she could help him how to say goodbye to her. Because she had been there. He needed her and he needed her guidance. Maybe one day she would be able to tell him. And if not – she would always have that one special night in a secluded cabin. She would stay in the shadows as long as he needed her there. She could wait a little while longer. Leaning her head against the back of her chair she sighed deeply, returning her attention to the white world outside. The wet snow seemed to settle down a bit, no longer slamming against her window but knocking gently. She closed her eyes, letting the rhythm of her rocking chair calm her down. Quiet. Peaceful. Comforting. And finally she fell asleep.

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Confused. That was the word, he was confused. Confused by the sensation in his stomach, by the fear in his head, by the hope in his heart and maybe mostly – the panic high in his throat. He was scared, scared to death of losing her. Of saying goodbye to what was once them, to their dreams, hopes and maybe more their reality. He wasn't sure if he could do it, wasn't sure about his own strength that he once knew he had inside him. It seemed to leave him at unexpected and unwanted moments; as if he couldn't depend on his own body and mind anymore. Like she couldn't depend on hers.

Saying goodbye. How to say goodbye to a loved one – there should be a manual for it. He didn't know how. Didn't want to know probably. Here he was, making his way over to nowhere; shielding his face against the violent flakes of snow that seemed to sting him like tiny little needles because he had felt the need to get out. God he needed air, he couldn't find it in him to sit there for hours and hours again – waiting for a change that wouldn't come, or maybe a change he didn't want to come. Would he be able to manage it alone? Would he be capable of being both a mother and a father to their daughters? And why was it that he mostly worried about being there for them; how to pull them through the dark period of mourning when he didn't even know how he was going to pull through it himself?

Oh, the times one of them had caught him when he was sitting there on the verge of breaking; almost losing control over his emotions and actions and deadly scared they would see his tears. He couldn't let them. Didn't want them to worry about their father as well. They needed all their energy to focus on their mother and he wouldn't let them shift their attention. He needed to be there for them and not the other way around. How to do that – God he had no idea. He closed his eyes when he turned around the corner, the cold wind freezing his thoughts for a split second. It was a relief.

There were times that life didn't seem that bad though. Sometimes he actually managed to forget his sorrows for a second, there were even times when he laughed out loud. Without exception, every time he had felt guilty afterwards. How could he laugh? How could he smile without his wife next to him to share it? How could he allow his grandson to talk about him alone – as if his grandma had never been there? How could he let him forget about her? Oh he knew why. Because his life wasn't ending. Because she wouldn't have wanted him to be miserable forever. God, he was thinking about her as if she had passed away already. Maybe he had already started to say goodbye. Without noticing it. Without trying to stop it. Bloody fool.

He shook his head, burying his ears deeper in the safety of his scarf. The one she had given him three years ago, the one she had found for him in Italy. Lately he found himself thinking back to the way things were. More and more he was realizing how lucky he had been for most parts of his life; with the laughter of his children, the beauty of a painting or the warm sun on his skin. He had taken it all for granted, the miracle of life around him; the rhythmic comforting sound of a heartbeat – the warmth of a body next to him in bed. He had been missing that more than anything he could think of. He missed her.

He held his pace and for the first time he lifted his head to see where he was, the falling snow hindering his sight and the wind causing him to stagger. And he stared at the house where he shouldn't be.

Yes confused. He was confused. Because with everything that happened he had never expected to see a light at the end of the tunnel. It took him completely by surprise when he wasn't looking for it and it had knocked him sideways. He had seen a light. A light with short hair and a loving smile. He searched for that light when darkness took possession over him; struggling to see it - trying desperately to find it. And every time he finally found it he wanted to close his eyes right away; because he shouldn't have searched for it in the first place. He shouldn't be there with her, shouldn't allow himself to find the company of a woman who made him feel better. But oh, she made him feel better if only for a short while. Ever since they had that night together he had troubles putting her out of his mind, as if she wandered around inside of him – whispering words in his ear that made him smile although he couldn't hear her. Every once in a while knocking him back to reality when he was falling into dark ponderings; telling him to keep control.

At first he hadn't seen it coming; he knew he was starting to care again but it had felt good; warm, soft and gentle. In some way he found something of himself in her; she had a knack of uncovering his deepest thoughts, although he never allowed her. Simply by being there she gave him a sign that it was all right; that he should talk – that he should _feel_. And he had talked and he was still feeling, there had been evenings in which they had a long conversation but more than that there had been meetings in which they didn't talk at all. Sitting together on the wooden bench near the lake, lost in thoughts; watching, remembering, mesmerizing. And she'd always let him go when he felt that he should. Without using words he had told her too much; he felt he was opening up to her in a way that he wasn't ready for. He shouldn't be there.

He should put a stop to it. He wasn't honest to either one of them. The last time he had seen her it had been in her house, her face was pale and her eyes weren't as warm as they used to. She was putting distance between them, or maybe she was reacting to his inner turmoil he wasn't sure. He had asked her if she was all right and she had tried to comfort him – her smile never reaching her eyes when he pushed her to be honest. And that was it. He couldn't find the strength to worry about two women, he should stop. And he had planned to do just that but he had confused her even more probably, by sending her a note and something that connected them. Peanut butter. With a note saying that she should take care of herself. And now he didn't know how to proceed next.

He was confused. Needed some time alone. To go through this. To come out stronger.

Hugging himself from the cold he sighed deeply, his breath blowing away in the frozen wind, his eyes closed. And he walked off.

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_**8 MONTHS LATER:**_

She inhaled deeply, letting the sun warm her inside and she smiled by the sight of children running around; skating, playing, enjoying the weather. There was something appealing about the change in seasons, as if one appreciated it better when there was an obvious change in temperature. How much she dreaded the cold in wintertime; she was also fascinated by the colour pattern in the sky when winter slowly crept in, the colours of the leaves creating the image of a red fire and the frozen ground where, strangely enough, life never seemed to stop. Every year the green leaves would come out; popping by to say hello to make sure nobody would forget about them. It never failed to make her smile.

The lake was calm, wrinkling along with the soft breeze of the late summer wind, making the sunlight glitter at the surface. It warmed her neck and she closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling of the streams of light that seemed to massage her neck. Until she didn't feel it anymore.

"Is this seat taken?"

His dark voice came from behind her, she opened her eyes and suddenly her heart was in her throat. She had been waiting for this moment but now that it was there she wasn't prepared. In a way she was afraid to turn and meet his gaze, as if she would see something she didn't want to. So she just shook her head and waited for the inevitable.

He sighed deeply when he saw her reaction; realizing that he felt the same thing – nervousness, anxiety but also a thrill. Was she ready to deal with him again? Was he ready to deal with her? He had come here to sit and watch the lake; to say hello after all this time. And in the back of his mind he had known that he wouldn't be alone.

Moving around the back of the bench he sat down, careful not to touch her, not meeting her gaze but looking straight ahead. Not a sound came from next to him, just a reassuring breath. He leaned forward with his arms on his knees, staring over the lake. God 8 months. It had been 8 months since he saw her last. And a lot had happened in those months, he had learned that he indeed was capable of saying goodbye. That he could fulfil a role in his daughters' lives and maybe more – that he learned that he needed them just as much as the other way around. He had found it again. He knew that he was able to face the bottom but that he was on his way to climb up. And look who he ran into.

She couldn't look at him; couldn't search for his expression, couldn't let him see the truth in her eyes. Her hands felt like they were moving constantly but in reality they were frozen in her lap, her face directed at the glittering lake. She had moved on without him; after she realized he needed some time she had decided to give it to him. Not a day went by in which she didn't think of him, mostly right before she fell asleep. And now he was here. Close. She could almost touch him. Almost.

"The wind is changing," he stated, rubbing his hands together.

She had to answer. "Last day of summer," she replied, nodding a little and blinking when he sat back.

For a moment it was silent and he swallowed, finally shifting so he could meet her gaze. She had already turned to face him and their eyes locked; trying to read what went on in the other.

She hadn't changed that much, he lips were tensed but her cheeks were red, healthy red. She was wearing a new necklace; it matched her earrings and both sparkled. Just as her eyes.

He looked better than she had expected him to, his hair was a bit long in the neck and his shirt was wrinkled but his face was smooth. He looked younger in a way, his eyes were open and sincere. Until they narrowed because he smiled.

"Are you hungry?" he asked and she shook her head. No she wasn't hungry.

"I read it in the paper, about Mary Beth…" she started and he nodded, giving her a sideward glance when he moved to lean with his back against the bench again.

"Yes, it's been 7 months now," he said, smiling when he heard her inhale deeply.

Oh dear god she was so confused. And she couldn't stand it that she reacted so intensely to his presence; she was a grown woman, a doctor, an adult. Silence fell between them again and the wind blew around them, red leaves playing a game before their feet. He felt at ease. It was good. Slowly he moved his arm and placed his hand in the middle of the bench, his shoulder touching hers now. She was warm. She hesitated but not long, slowly she lifted her own hand to place it carefully in his – staring down when their fingers entwined. He rubbed her palm slowly, delicate and loving. Her stomach dropped.

Maybe it had been worth it after all.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey everybody, I'm back with Robert and Catherine. Although the story speaks for itself, I feel that I should explain what's different between the movie and the way I wrote them. When I watch iOne Special Night/i I always feel that things are moving way too fast, that the two characters need more time to come to terms. Despite the fact that this is one of my favourite movies of all time, I felt like I had to give them more time. To see what would happen when Mary Beth kept on living just a little while longer. In the first two chapters you could see that Catherine and Robert stayed friends but that their feelings for each other came too soon, it wasn't their time yet. In my humble opinion, they needed some time apart to see if what was happening between them wasn't just a reaction to the cruel circumstances life put them in. They met again, eight months later on their bench and they're on the road to find out what's left of their feelings. If it was for real. If you want to join them, read on. If you don't want to, that's fine too. Let me know what you think please, it means a lot to me to know that._

She had never expected this rush of emotions when she agreed to have dinner with him – nor had she guessed that she would ever dread something that was supposed to be fun. But she was dreading it all right. With a sigh she slammed her closet shut again, staring down at her entire wardrobe spread out on her bed; neatly divided in piles to prevent them from wrinkling. She scolded herself for not being more fashion minded; she should have cared more about her appearance in the past. She had always thought that there was no reason to dress up for dinner alone and her white doctor's coat covered up every outfit anyway. She now realized she had absolutely nothing to wear. Casual clothes as far as the eye could see but nothing fancy. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. That was the least of her problems really. She sat down on her bed, covering her cheeks with both hands and closing her eyes. She was acting silly. As usual.

After they had parted this afternoon she couldn't understand how she was feeling really. Her mind was reeling with possibilities and confused thoughts, going back and forth about what had happened. She wasn't sure how she _should_ be feeling; even though he had been nothing but nice and sweet –she was confused by his presence and what message he sent to her. Maybe things weren't that confusing. Simply by holding her hand he had given her a sign that he was a free man again.

A free man with a past. And she was a free woman with a past. They hadn't even talked for that long; she guessed that both were a bit taken a bit surprised by what suddenly was there – a chance for something new. Funny, she would have thought she would be thrilled when that moment arrived–and of course she was – but she also felt a different sensation that caused her to stand here with trembling hands and a flushed color on her cheeks. She couldn't describe it as anything but sheer terror. Yes she felt fear, fear for making real what she had been picturing in sleepless nights. Fear that nobody could live up to be the person she had turned him into. Fear for letting herself be carried away by the possibility of a new romance – twisting her reality into something more risky and exciting than she could handle. What if she couldn't be what he was looking for, if in fact, he was looking for something? She opened her eyes and frowned. Why was she wrecking her only decent skirt by sitting on top of it? Shoot.

She got up, shutting her worries off for a moment as she ran down the stairs and grabbed her coat from the coat rack, throwing it on her and not bothering to close it. She had one more thing to do before she would finally decide what to wear – she might just as well do it right away. From the moment they had parted she had felt the urge to go to the place where she would find comfort and hopefully a bit of understanding. He wouldn't yell at her for sure.

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His footsteps echoed on the sidewalk and he was taking brisk steps; he always did that when he had a clear destination. It was definitely getting colder; the wind seemed to enjoy ripping off as many leaves from the trees as possible. He passed a group of women; not failing to notice the curious looks they threw at him. He smiled amused when he heard the whispering behind his back, clearly they wondered if he was off to see a lady friend. The bouquet of roses in his hand apparently gave them enough reason to start gossiping until the sun would set. Women.

He tasted the word. Lady friend. Yes, he would call her just that for the time being although he had no idea what she would become. He recalled the flustered look on her face when he asked her out to dinner, her eyes widening at the prospect of a full evening together. It would be nice to feel the presence of a friend. And yet, he knew they weren't just two friends getting together –the way her hand warmed his was far too entrancing to kid himself. He had no idea what he was going to talk about that evening, after all it had been a while since they had spoken last and in a way he was afraid that the ease in which they used to communicate was gone. Hell, maybe he wasn't just thinking he was afraid – maybe he was convinced of it. Of course it would be different now that he was free to act in the way he wanted, if only he knew what it was he wanted.

Crossing the street he slowed down his pace when he approached his destination. His smile faded when he pushed open the gate; inhaling deeply when he felt the silent and peaceful atmosphere that could only exist at a cemetery. If someone brought him here with a blindfold he would recognize it within seconds. Slowly he found his way over the stone path, passing countless silent places of grief and memories. He couldn't really remember all the details of the day he had buried her, standing there with his family around him – saying goodbye to the one person who was missing. The memory of seeing her casket lowering in the ground would be etched in his mind forever though. It was a strange feeling to be here after what had happened earlier that day – the past, present and future calling out to him in just a few hours of time. His daughters came here more often than he did; somehow he didn't need to be here to find her. He met her in little simple things like the sweet smell of Italian coffee or the sound of a pencil scraping on a piece of paper. It was enough to say hello from time to time; he didn't need to look at a piece of stone and actually talk to it. What was left of her body might be there but her soul was somewhere else; he was convinced of that the moment he saw she had left the world. He could only hope it was a better place.

He stopped when he reached her grave, looking at her name that was carved out of stone to last for eternity. The candle next to the headstone was still burning; his grandson had found one that operated on batteries and it turned out to be a smart idea; no wind, rain or snow would ever extinguish this flame. He kneeled down, carefully placing his roses on the white gravel of her grave – creating a cheerful contrast in color. He sat there for a while, staring at the motionless scene before him and he smiled when a little brown bird landed on the headstone and stayed there - clearly it wasn't afraid of him. Some things can't be explained he realized, but he smiled nonetheless as the living creature studied him with the same interest. After a short while the bird flew off, he watched it leave and suddenly his eyes caught movement two paths away. He narrowed his eyes to focus. Oh boy.

She was kneeling and she hadn't seen him, he was sure. Her hands were busy, moving non-stop to plant a small bush in the earth next to a white tombstone. Her sunglasses were dark but they couldn't hide her expression; concentrated and focused on the job to be done. He shouldn't look at her; he was intruding on her privacy and yet he couldn't find it in him to cast his eyes away – this was the first time he saw her unaware of her surroundings and somehow this moment showed the real her. There was something entrancing about watching her. The intimacy of her movements, the concentration on her face when she looked up to glance at the cloudy sky above her – and now she looked right at him.

He was sorry right away for staring at her when he saw her reaction, her hands frozen in the cold earth, her face flustered and shocked. He was invading her privacy in the worst way ever, that much he realized when he took a step back and threw a careful smile at her. Her eyes narrowed when she reached up to shove her sunglasses in her hair and his smile faded when she didn't answer his gesture. For a short silent moment their eyes were locked but after a little hesitation she finished her job – tucking in the roots of the plant with the same care with which she would nurture a baby. Her actions were more determined now that she knew he was watching her and finally she was struggling to get up, her hands were covered in sand and her knees a little wet from the dirt she had been kneeling in. For a moment he didn't know what to do but she solved his problem by cleaning her hands, gathering her belongings and starting to walk in his direction; carefully sidestepping the little pools of mud that were slowly forming under the grey sky. He never even realized it had started to rain.

The rain increased a bit, gently moistening her hair and shoulders as she made her way over to him; a little shaken by this unexpected meeting. When she met his gaze she thought she was imagining things; he was at a place where he shouldn't be – or maybe more where she didn't want him to be. And for a split second she had felt embarrassed that he had caught her in an intimate moment; that he had seen her without her noticing it. But that sensation crumbled away inside her when she realized where he was standing and that their goals were similar this afternoon. He moved towards her now and she shook her head when she read his feelings from his attitude, for the first time she saw him acting a bit embarrassed.

"The wind is indeed changing," she said when he opened his mouth to say something – anything to get rid of the awkward position they had found themselves in. No, what he had put them in by staring at her. "Listen Catherine, I eh…" he started, to break off his sentence when he noticed something written on a tombstone nearby. "Son of a … that guy is dead? How could I have missed that?" he turned to read the inscriptions better, a surprised look on his face.

She raised her brow, what on earth was he doing? "A friend of yours?" she asked, narrowing her eyes to read when the poor person had died.

"No, not exactly!" he answered, smirking when he read the small sentence under his name. "_Nathan Welsh, Plumber,"_ he snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. "Somehow asshole would be a better description."

"Robert!" she couldn't believe what he just did but in a way she was relieved they had something to talk about, anything was better than standing there like they had the world on their shoulders and were afraid to talk about it.

"I'm telling you, this guy is responsible for a whole lot of floating pieces of digested food in my hallway."

She frowned confused. "What?"

"The toilet overflowed. I was being polite," he explained and after a little moment of silence he breathed relieved, she laughed out loud now. Situation under control he believed.

"Well, I'll leave you to do your things now," she said, smiling shortly and making an attempt to turn around – stopping when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm ready to go," he said, "Mind if I walk with you?"

Ignoring the possible double meaning in his words she nodded and carefully they strolled along in silence, a little too aware of their own and each other's presence. It was strange to be at the one place where they never expected the other to be – the one place where they would find privacy and yet; it felt good to share this. At least the other understood.

"Define irony," Robert grinned after a little while and pointed at a large grave that they just passed; it was covered with flowers and there were three names visible on the black stone on top of it. "This guy got into a car accident with both his wife and mistress in the same car and they ended up burying them together."

"Goodness, you're serious?" she asked, narrowing her eyes to read the inscriptions.

"Yes, apparently the family decided to have one place to remember them by because –" he broke his sentence and pointed at their names.

"His mistress was her sister?" she gasped, covering her mouth.

"Yup, I hope for his sake that they put him in the middle," he laughed and to his relief she grinned as well, blushing deeply when she realized they were mocking the dead. Shame on them.

Someone above seemed to agree because a sudden flash of lightning streaked through the air a second later, causing them both to snap their heads back at each other and make a run for it; forgetting all about Nathan Welsh and the unlucky trio. Catherine hastened her way away from the cemetery first, holding her purse above her head in a failed attempt to save her hair from a disaster; she would have to blow dry it all over again before dinner. Shoot.

The rain poured down heavily now, creating a mud pool before their very eyes and it was odd to leave the cemetery in a hurry, there was always this unspoken rule that one would cross the paths in a serene manner instead of rushing out of there. It was of no use anyway, by the time they reached the iron gate she was completely drenched, her pink blouse sticking to her body underneath her jacket and quickly she covered herself up with her arms, ignoring the drops that ran down her face now. Without hesitation she made a run to the safety of her car, seeing him closing his coat quickly and stopping on the sidewalk.

"Where's your car?" she shouted, fiddling with her keys to open hers.

"On my driveway," he replied, raising his brows when she gestured at the passengers seat and sat down, opening the door for him. She smiled at him. "Unless you were planning on swimming home?"

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The soft blanket felt warm under her legs, her feet were warm and she let her toes wiggle in the safety of her slippers. Would someone ever understand why a mature lady, a doctor for god's sake, was sitting in her living room in the middle of the night in her pajamas, staring at the night outside without seeing anything? She just couldn't sleep with all that was happening, or maybe more the promise of what lay ahead or -- maybe what she was hoping that would lay ahead.

Their evening together turned out to be quite nice, she had to admit that going out on a date was quite unexpected and challenging to say the least. They never went home after she had invited him into the privacy of her car, something she had never expected to happen again. She grinned when she remembered his face when he had to fold himself to get in her Jaguar again; he would never get used to that one. She guessed it was a natural way to start their date; she had absolutely no time to worry about her outfit or looks. The down part was that, being unexpected, she didn't have time to prepare herself for being with him again.

As a result, the happy sensations of sheer expectation that she had been hoping for never came, in fact she would find out that their connection was still there – but less obvious than she thought it would be. He was nice and interested, of course that was his nature, but the deep emotional tension between them seemed to have vanished in the air and it was replaced by something unknown. What had she expected anyway, that he would sweep her off her feet in seconds, take her in his arms and abduct her to Paris? Of course not, she wouldn't even want him to.

She still could see herself sitting there in her car and later in the restaurant, smiling about little stories he shared about his grandson and nodding along when he explained why his eldest daughter eventually left her husband. It didn't even surprise her, a woman's pride and trust is something that can't be messed with and to be honest, she praised Lori for choosing a life on her own. That young woman was strong and would do fine, with a little help from her father of course. And she had shared her experiences as well, that she was giving a first aid course in the Medical Center these days after her regular shift in the hospital. She didn't share that she had made the decision to stay as active as possible to keep her head alert and her body vital. And with success, she felt a whole lot better than she did a year ago.

After the dinner the raining had stopped and they had taken a walk together, enjoying the fresh air and knowing that they both needed a little time to get used to these new circumstances. He had invited her to share stories about her work and she had told him, walking on the sidewalk at an easy pace. He was turned towards her, taking slow steps backwards and listening intensely with his hands buried in his pockets. Both of them were reluctant to touch each other again or to talk about their shared past – somehow it would feel like pushing things and there was a silent agreement to let things happen. This evening wasn't about what could have been or would ever be, she couldn't and wouldn't even think that far yet. And as they were walking there, she realized that she wasn't even sure if their friendship as she once knew it, was still there, it had changed since the last time they spoke and in a way she had feared that it would change into… well, nothing.

But then they held still in front of her door and suddenly, like the flash of lightning in the cemetery, something happened inside her. It wasn't because of something he had said or done, it was an uncertain tingly feeling in the pit of her stomach that made her realize that there was still something awake in her. It was slumbering and it was quiet but it was there, fluttering inside her while he spoke. She couldn't remember what he said exactly but she remembered that she had pressed her lips together as she watched him with the familiar surroundings of her garden behind him and it had hit her. He was back in her life, he really was. Goodness.

She wasn't sure if he knew what was happening inside her, or that he was aware of the sudden change in tension between them; all she was sure of that he had felt the need to leave.

Their goodbye was nice and friendly, a short kiss on her cheek and a squeeze of his hand was enough to make her smile gratefully at him and she thought for a second that their eyes locked – but the moment passed and he was gone. He never even promised her to call her.

Getting up from her comfortable position on the sofa she walked over to her wooden cabinet and she swallowed, her finger caressing the glass that protected her favourite picture of Tom. She still remembered the moment she took it, the day of their 25th wedding anniversary and it would be etched in her mind forever. One of the last days in the joy of not knowing, one of the last golden days spent in the safety of being healthy. She fingered her necklace. If only they had appreciated it more. After once last glance at his image she sighed deeply and left the living room, leaving him behind in darkness. She really should try to get some sleep now.

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"Dad? Dad where are you?"

Lori's voice came floating towards him through the open door and he looked up, almost hitting himself on the fingers with his hammer and he swore under his breath.

"Yeah, I'm here sweetheart!" he shouted, placing down his tools and smiling broadly when the sweet little face of his granddaughter appeared in the doorway. "Hello Mary, come to grandpa!" he called out to her, kneeling down to catch her in his arms as she came crawling towards him. "Why are you home this early?" he asked when Lori entered the garden and avoided the grabbing hands of his grandchild when she tried to take the pencil that was stuck behind his ear. She succeeded of course.

"Early? It's past six, where is your head these days?" his daughter frowned, bending down to pick up a few tools that were lying around as usual. Her father was the sweetest grandfather in the world but not a sensible one.

"I'm sorry, I guess I lost track of time," he said and moved back inside with her, releasing the little girl to crawl on the floor. "Is Michael with Jeff?"

"Yes, it's his weekend away with his father remember? Jeff is taking him to the football game," Lori answered and looked around her. "I take it you haven't made dinner?"

"Does the stove look like it's been used?" he threw back the question and he was sorry right away when she sighed and opened the fridge to start cooking. "No, I'm sorry – I completely forgot." He frowned, he still had to get used to the fact that she was living here now. Temporarily of course, until she found a place for her own and her two children. When she had decided to go through with the divorce it had felt natural to take her back in. In a way it turned out for the best for everyone.

"Darling, I'm going to take a shower before dinner," he said and picked little Mary up to place her in her chair, handing her a toy to play with. That would keep her quiet for at least ten minutes he hoped.

"Don't forget to shave," his daughter replied, shaking her head amused when he didn't respond. Always the same discussion.

Entering his bedroom he sank down on the edge of his bed, running his hands through his hair as he listened to the commotion downstairs. Usually he enjoyed their company, the silence that Mary Beth had left behind was heavy as lead sometimes, but lately he felt that he longed for a little privacy. When he was at work in the afternoon he could do whatever his heart desired but the evenings were dedicated to Lori and her two darling children. They were the joy in his life, of course, but sometimes he longed for an adult conversation rather than reading stories and smelling the scent of diapers. He shook his head, oh why was he kidding himself – he was longing to have another conversation with her. It was only a few days since they had dinner together and it turned out to be very different than the first time they went out, the Sunday after Thanksgiving when he gave into something he shouldn't have – just because it had felt too damned good to pass it by. It was his idea no less, to go eat pancakes together because as he was sitting there in that cabin, suddenly he had felt the fear of never seeing her again. And so it happened, they had shared a table and a newspaper together and they had talked, finding a little too much recognition in the eyes of the other. But oh, how happy and warm he had felt that someone understood what he was going through, to be able to share his fears with someone who had been there. Later on his happiness would change into confused emotions and feelings of guilt. Soon after that he had broken it off.

But their dinner the other evening was different as if the road ahead was suddenly open but speed bumps were stopping them from going too fast. Talking to her was still easy because the words seemed to come naturally but all in all their being there seemed, he couldn't put his finger on it, planned in a way. Perhaps by a higher force or maybe just the two of them, he didn't know. It felt as if it was bound to happen one way or the other and that knowledge made him feel too conscious about his own behavior. And yet he had felt that he still liked her as a friend, that he was still curious to know how she was doing and if she was all right. Hearing that was enough to make him smile contently and he had kept on doing that all the way home. Reaching out to the phone on his nightstand he swallowed, hesitating a few seconds before dialling the number. He felt the need to smile again. That night, if possible.

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"Goodbye angel, you take good care of your parents you hear?" she whispered before she handed over the infant to her parents, smiling gently at them. How much she loved this moment when she could send one of them home, when the child was actually strong enough to face the future. Oh she loved her job more than anything although she would never get used to the stings of guilt and pain when she couldn't save an infant in distress or seeing a child suffer. But thank god those moments weren't part of her every day job and she could enjoy moments like this even more, waving to the happy parents near the elevators - carrying their treasure wrapped in a blanket.

Sighing deeply she turned and found her way to her office, passing the nurses station on her right. Clearly they were on their break because she counted 8 white uniforms in there. Laughter came drifting towards her and she smiled when she heard one of the nurses calling out to her.

"Dr. Howard come in! We have just the thing for you!"

Entering the small but very crowded room she laughed surprised. In the middle of the white table, flanked by tea glasses and coffee cups was a plate full with something she had been missing out on for quite some time. "We got it from the Thompsons, you know that nice family from Britain?" the head nurse explained.

"How nice!" she smiled and flopped down on the nearest chair, reaching out for the sweet delicacy until she realized that it became silent around her. She glanced at the waiting group around her and she lowered her hand. "What?"

"How are we supposed to eat this? And what's the white stuff for?" The young trainee she didn't know by name frowned when she held up a small jar of clotted cream and Catherine chuckled, taking it from the confused nurse.

"You never had scones before?" she inquired, grabbing a knife from the drawer behind her and sliced it open. "Here, I'll show you. First you cut it in half, then you add a little clotted cream, don't be too stingy, and at last you take a little jam… do we have jam?" she asked, extending her hand when it was shoved in her direction. "Thank you. Now you put in a little jam and you have a traditional English scone." She handed the sweet treat to the trainee in front of her and laughed when the rest of the group simply held out their plates. Sure, she would have to do them all now – she could have known.

"Sweets are too good for women," the nurse next to her murmured approvingly when she took the first bite.

Catherine smiled, she could only wholeheartedly agree to that and she closed her eyes when she took a bite, letting the sweet taste satisfy her. For a moment it was quiet, only a few satisfied sounds came from around her as the group of women chewed on the scones.

"This is good! Heck, I love all the sweet treats. Muffins, cake – I don't care!" a lady she knew as Tess was talking now, her mouth full with scone.

"You can burry me in chocolate," someone else commented, wiping the cream from her lips.

"Pancakes!" a third exclaimed and suddenly Catherine found herself in the midst of their attention.

"Chocolate chip pancakes," she mumbled as she swallowed her last bite. Oh no. Faces were turned towards her and she raised her brows, ignoring the faint fluttery feeling in her stomach and the flash of heat reaching her cheeks. Was it warm in there or what?

"At Murray's! My 8 year old keeps begging me for those but I never expected you to love them Dr. Howard," Tess said and smiled at her, raising her brows at the unexpected blush on the cheeks of the cardiologist. Catherine was about to comment when the high shrill sound of her beeper startled her and she glanced at it, her blush deepening when she recognized the number right away.

"Excuse me ladies," she said with a friendly nod, "and thank you for thinking of me."

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"You take cream in your coffee?" she appeared in the doorway of her kitchen and he shook his head, browsing through one of her medical magazines with a confused look on his face.

"No, just black will do fine," he replied and smiled at her when she entered the living room, carrying a tray in her hands.

"Thank you," he said, accepting his cup of coffee and she sat down on the other side of the couch, first crossing her legs and finally placing them firmly on the ground. Oh boy, she was nervous to have him here again and yet it felt familiar. Too familiar really, it reminded her of another time when all she could do was listen to him. Now he clearly expected her to talk because he kept looking at her as he took his first sip. She raised a brow when he cringed and placed down his cup as if it had bit him.

"Holy… were you planning on keeping me awake for the rest of my life?" he exclaimed, adding sugar to the dark liquid in an attempt to soften it.

"Is it too strong?" she asked, placing down her tea with a worried look on her face.

"That's an understatement," he coughed and tried another sip, "You always drink your coffee like this? My spoon almost dissolves in it!" He cringed again and placed his cup down, he gave up.

"Well I never drink coffee at home," she said, "I only drink it at work, I guess I don't make it that often myself."

"Could have fooled me," he grinned, amused by the embarrassed look on her face. "Let me show you something," he said, getting up and nodding at her as a gesture so she would follow him into the kitchen. She hesitated a little but then she accepted, a twinkle in her eye gave away that she was more amused than annoyed by it. In the kitchen he opened a few cupboards until he found the coffee canister and she felt the urge to stop him, after all these were her cabinets and her house. And yet it felt nice that _he_ was the one to go through her stuff, it felt secure and familiar in a way.

He opened the canister and smelled the contents before raising a finger at her. "Lesson number one when you make coffee for Mr. Woodward; use mild coffee. No mocha, no dark hazel or something else fancy, just plain mild coffee. Lesson number two; be careful with the amount of coffee, not too much and not too few. Two tablespoons will do. Number three - "

"Serve him tea or let him make his own damned coffee?" she finished his sentence and she laughed when he raised a brow and finally laughed along with her.

"That will work even better," he nodded and finished the job, rinsing his cup and looking around to find a towel to dry it. "You never drink coffee here?" he asked and she grinned as she pointed to a big carton of tea on her sink.

"If I leave these bags to steep long enough, it will become just as powerful," she said and laughed when he cringed.

"Your kitchen is spotless! I forgot about that one, you still don't cook huh?" he looked around and studied the shiny stove and the brand new oven attached to it.

"Are you kidding me? When I can eat in the hospital I wouldn't do that to myself," she chuckled. "The closest I come to cooking is making tea. And if I may say so myself, my scones are unmatched. That is, if they're already baked."

"I would love to try them," he grinned and then they grew silent.

She leaned against the kitchen sink, her arms folded, and she studied him as he turned on the coffee machine and struck the same pose, giving her a sideward glance doing so. She was more relaxed now, at ease and calm and the silence that fell between them was comfortable. For the first time since they met he realized.

"Catherine…" he said, hesitating a little and she looked up, surprised by the change in his voice.

"Yes?" she reacted, turning a little so she could face him. He was looking at her too and she swallowed when their eyes locked.

"You think we should talk about how things ended… you know, between us?" The words were out and he regretted it right away when her face changed, shifting from relaxed to self-conscious. Smart move.

"Oh…" she gasped softly, folding her arms even tighter. Deep down in her stomach she felt that tingly sensation again that only he could bring out in her. If only she could control it, if only she could swallow back the words that formed on her lips. "I never realized things had actually started," she said and her voice sounded hoarse, changing her casual remark into an emotional statement. Oh bother. "Do you…" she started but the sentence froze on her lips when he spoke again.

"I thought about you a lot," he said, his eyes sincere and open. "There were times in which I wanted to call but I couldn't… you know?"

"I know. I knew then as well," she nodded, casting her eyes away from him and she leaned back against the sink again, lifting her chin to study the high ceiling of her kitchen. "You don't have to explain Robert."

"Yes I should," he interrupted her. "But I don't know how."

For a long moment it was silent, the only sound they heard was the dripping of the coffee machine, filling the kitchen with its typical scent. He pressed his lips together and shook his head, he shouldn't have said anything. But it was a fact that he owed her at least an explanation about what had happened before, that he should try to make up for lost time and unspoken promises. He couldn't just continue as if nothing happened, they had been too open to one another.

"You've already explained it," she suddenly said softly and he looked up, finding the warm glow in her eyes. She smiled briefly and turned to pour him a fresh cup of coffee and left the kitchen. The next words she said softly over her shoulder made him smile and it cleared the air. "You're here."

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The wind outside surprised her when she opened the door for him, holding on to it when he stepped outside and closed his coat.

"You think you'll be able to sleep?" she smiled and he turned towards her, swallowing back a naughty comment. Was he really flirting with her?

"If not, can I call you for some illegal drugs from the hospital when I lie awake all night?" he replied, laughing when she hit him playfully. "Ouch, careful doctor!"

"If that will make you forgive me for the caffeine overdose, sure!" she grinned and inhaled deeply when he hesitated to leave. In a way she was happy to see him go because she felt the urge to sit down and rethink what had happened this evening. And yet she wished that this wouldn't have to end because something had shifted between them and it felt good and comfortable. They had talked for hours and they had even watched some television; as it turned out they followed the same series and it was fun to share their thoughts and speculations about it. Thank God they could still laugh.

"Thank you for a lovely evening," he smiled at her and she answered his smile, her stomach was fluttering like crazy now.

"I had fun too," she said softly, her smile fading out when he kept looking at her, an amused look on his face. Oh boy, he was so handsome.

"Well… goodnight," he sighed and hesitated before he leaned towards her, slowly reaching out to take her hand in his. He wasn't sure how to act, wasn't sure how to do this. She turned her hand so their fingers could entwine and for a split second the world seemed to make perfect sense. Until they both looked down – getting thrown back into reality. The light from the hallway reflected in their wedding rings and they glanced at each other, reading in the others eyes that the moment had passed.

"Goodnight Catherine," he said, bringing her hand up to his mouth and pressing a light kiss on it. Her stomach dropped.

"Goodnight Robert," she whispered, rubbing her hand when he turned around and left, turning around one last time before he walked off. She couldn't see his expression clearly but she waved at him before she closed the door, sighing deeply in an attempt to clear her head. She probably would be awake all night too.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh, could you make a decision already? What's gotten into you?" Marina sighed and rolled her eyes when Catherine disappeared in the dressing room for the third time. "What are you so insecure about all of a sudden?"

Inside the dressing room Catherine frowned, turning around to see her bare back in the low cut dress. "I'm not insecure, I just happen to feel that this dress is too revealing for my age," she said, her voice muffled as she pulled the piece of clothing over her head again. "Could you pass me the other one? The pink one?"

Obeying the request, Marina grinned and she sat down on the round bench near the dressing rooms. There was something different about Catherine. She had seen more of her over the past year and although she liked it, she never really had the feeling that she knew her. Although she was always kind, sincere and interested; what was behind that polite exterior was very often a big mystery. She remembered how they got acquainted when Tom was still alive, obliged to sit down and talk for hours while the two men played pool or cards. Even the trips they took together turned out to be fun, yet a real close friendship had never grown out of it. They were polite and friendly to each other, sure, but they never made a real true connection.

After the death of her husband Catherine withdrew back completely, not responding to her and William's invitations but deciding to stay home alone. It had worried William; often he had talked to her about Catherine after work when he had caught Catherine alone in her office, staring outside and her arms folded. She had seen it herself on the rare occasions when they met. Her face was always pale; the pink colour on her cheeks that she had always associated with her was gone. And as stubborn and independent as she was or maybe wanted to be; it hadn't surprised them that Catherine never seemed to ask for help. Not once had she leaned on someone. Poor woman.

Marina snapped her fingers. Suddenly she knew what had changed.

"Catherine, you want a cup of tea?" she called, smiling when the curtain of the dressing room was shoved aside and a satisfied grin appeared. Good, the pink dress would do.

"I swear to God, I'm not put on this earth to dress fancy," Catherine frowned and ran both hands through her hair before accepting the bag with her new dress from the clerk. "And I hate changing."

"What do you need a new dress for anyway?" Marina asked, buttoning her coat when they stepped outside.

"Because my sweet neighbours got this crazy plan to organize a get together for the entire neighbourhood. They think that when people get to know each other, the block will be a safer place to live… or something." Catherine smirked and shook her head when she recalled the way her neighbour had practically forced her to come.

"Oh, I've been there," Marina said, "I hate those evenings in which you have to remember everyone and you always end up embarrassed because you forgot someone's name. Or worse; where they live."

"Exactly!"

It was silent for a while, slowly they found their way to "Sherman's Tea", a nice little tea room where they served, according to Catherine, good strong English tea.

"So why do you have to dress up for this occasion?" Marina asked and to her great amusement Catherine's cheeks turned from pink to deep red. Her suspicions grew stronger.

"Oh, because I have nothing fancy to wear and it could come in handy for when I ever go out."

Seeing the amused look on Marina's face Catherine swallowed with difficulty. Oh, she hated this about herself. Why couldn't she just tell her that she was seeing someone? It was a completely natural thing to do; why did it feel like she was doing something wrong – and why was it that saying it out loud would make things real? She knew all too well is wasn't real, at least not yet. Oh, she didn't know and she didn't really want to think about it, it seemed like everything she did lately had to do with that certain tall dark man. There was an uncertain tingly feeling in the pit of her stomach that constantly reminded her of what was happening. She had promised herself not to get carried away, just as he never had promised her that something would happen. Things were progressing really slowly and it felt comfortable, easy and safe. And safe was good – she needed safe. Right?

"Catherine?"

She shook her head to clear her mind and smiled when they reached the door of the small place. "Yes, let's have a nice cup of tea."

She frowned. Safe her foot.

The movie theatre was small and dark; creating an intimate ambiance as they found their way down the aisle to their seats. Catherine smiled as her date moved in front of her, waiting patiently for her to stumble between coats and buckets of popcorn. To be honest, she wasn't that fond of going to the cinema, she much more preferred to sit down at home and loose herself in a good story – although she didn't do that much. But she had to admit that watching a movie on the big screen was pretty special as well, not to mention the company of a good friend who was pointing at three empty seats now. She smiled.

"Can I take your coat madam?" he asked, turning her around and shrugging her out of her long black overcoat. It was a new one he noticed.

"Thank you sir," she nodded and she sat down on the soft red chair, wiggling a little to find a comfortable position. She swallowed when he sat down as well – she was very aware of his leg brushing hers and it felt warm. Too warm.

"Why they don't have a cloakroom here is beyond me," he muttered while he tried to place their coats on the empty seat next to them. Thank God it wasn't a very busy night, there was no way they would be able to sit comfortably with their coats stuffed behind their backs.

"This isn't a fancy theatre Robert. This isn't a fancy town for that matter," she grinned and

opened the bottle of water she held in her hand when he leaned back in his chair – his shoulder leaning against hers. "Is it me or is it warm in here?"

"I would say so," he frowned, loosening his collar a little.

"Oh, I meant to ask you…" she said, "Did they invite you too to the block party?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, you were invited to have shallow conversations with people you don't care about too? Exciting isn't it?"

She laughed. "I'm glad you'll be there too, Ms. Brightman would never talk to us again if we didn't show."

"And that's a bad thing why?" he muttered and laughed along with her, although he meant every word that he said.

"So which movie are we watching again?" she asked, blinking when the lights got dimmed and the commercials appeared on the big screen.

"I have no idea."

"What?" She was so surprised that she forgot to whisper.

He grinned and lowered his voice. "I just asked the guy at the counter to sell me two tickets to a movie that I could bring a lady to." His eyes twinkled when he gave her a sideward glance, his eyes sliding down from her face to an area where she didn't want him. "You're a lady right?"

To her great shock she felt blood rushing to her cheeks under his exploring look and she forced herself to answer in a casual tone. "Last time I checked I was, yes."

"Good. So you must like this movie," he smiled and cast his eyes at the screen again, seeing but not paying attention to the trailers of movies he didn't want to see anyway. She took another sip from her water and he heard her swallow, smelling the sweet scent of her perfume as she brought her hand up to pull a hand through her hair. She looked pretty this evening, casual and yet sophisticated. During the few times they had spent together it seemed like she became more relaxed around him; the ease of the way they communicated seemed to return bit by bit although the heavy tension that was once there was gone. Maybe because they both had changed, he wasn't sure. The fact was that he felt at ease with her, that he felt comfortable enough to joke around a little – and that she felt comfortable enough to laugh about it. He couldn't wish for more at this point. Right?

Through the first half hour of the movie they sat there in silence, trying to focus on the story happening right in front of them rather than the story between them.

"You know what I never understand?" she whispered after a while, leaning a little against him so he could hear her without disturbing the entire row. Their shoulders touched even more. "That these women seem to sleep with a layer of make up on their faces, I never look that good in the morning!"

He smiled. "Oh, I don't believe that for a second. So you sleep aux naturel?"

Her face shot in his direction. "What?"

"I mean, with a clean face," he muttered, rolling his eyes for his own stupidity. Brilliant.

She hesitated a little but chose to ignore what he had said. "Yes, I mean – it's not normal to look that good in the morning. Well maybe it is at that age." She pointed at the young lady on screen who was brushing her teeth now.

"I know. But you have make up if you need a little help. Men have to settle with the same look every day."

She turned her head so she could look at him. "Lucky for you that you look good," she whispered and swallowed when he turned his head as well – his eyes meeting hers. Deep down her stomach she felt that nervous sensation again. Oh dear, this was getting serious but the hell with it, she couldn't find it in herself to break the spell and look away. He would have to do that this time – and he didn't.

"Thank you," he mouthed and a small smile tugged on his lips when she inhaled deeply. She couldn't grasp what was happening but her eyes stayed locked with his, to slide down his face to his mouth and back. She felt his dark gaze tingling in her veins and her breath came out higher; as if someone had placed a hand on her chest to slow her down.

"Catherine…" he hesitated a little but before he could finish her face changed, shifting from dreamy to annoyed – her hand reaching out to her pocket. Of course. "The hospital?" he whispered when she glanced at her phone and she nodded frustrated.

"I'm so sorry Robert, I'm on call and I…" she started but he shook his head and reached out to grab their coats.

"You don't have to leave too, stay and watch the movie!" she whispered, accepting her coat.

He smiled and shrugged before he followed her through the dark theatre on their way out. "Why start watching the movie now?"

-----

Hours later she sat down near her dressing table, sighing deeply before reaching out to her facial cleanser and smiled to herself as she cleaned her face. Yes she slept 'aux naturel', if there was anything she was dedicated to it was that. She yawned, it was getting late. It had been a while since she got paged away from a social date and it couldn't have come at a worse time; yet she always got this addictive shot of adrenaline through her veins when she was needed – thank goodness her presence made a difference again this evening.

Staring at her face in the mirror she frowned, studying the little wrinkles that appeared on her forehead and next to her eyes. Tom always loved her like this; clean, fresh and yes… natural. Oh, she shouldn't complain about her skin – she was blessed with better skin than a lot of the young girls she met at work. She never failed to smile when they asked her what her secret was – the truth was that she didn't have one. Drinking lots of mineral water and cleaning, that was about it. She reached out for the tube with her favourite cream, carefully rubbing the rich fluid on her elbows and hands – gently massaging her nails while she was at it.

Flapping her hands to let them dry she walked over to her bed; hitting the light switch with her elbow when she passed it. Oh she was tired and at the same time she wasn't in the mood to go to sleep just yet – she felt a little too fluttery for that. This evening could have gone into an entirely different direction than both of them had expected, that much she realized when she said goodbye to him before she got into her car. Her own car, she always drove herself when she was on call – old habit. Turning to her side she pulled her pillow closer and hugged it tightly, hiding her face in the soft cover when she tried to grasp what had happened there in the darkness of the theatre. For the first time she had felt that there was something very much alive – not just inside her but between them. She could only hope that he…

The sound of her phone shot through the night and made her sit right up, her heart pounding fiercely in her chest. Good grief, she was just at home – they wouldn't call her back would they? Quickly she picked it up.

"Hello?" she said, reaching out to find her light switch on her nightstand but her hand froze in mid air when she recognized the voice at the other end.

"We weren't done yet I believe." His voice sounded soft and amused and in her throat she felt a sharp tingle, she had to bite her lip to swallow back a too enthusiastic response.

"Oh is that a fact?" she replied instead, slipping under the covers with a small smile curving her lips. She didn't want the lights turned on for some strange reason, it was an intimate situation to hear him without seeing anything.

"Yes, I happen to believe that 45 minutes hardly qualifies as a date don't you?" he asked, she heard him grabbing the remote control and turning off the television. She realized that he was giving her his full attention and it warmed her heart. So much for not getting carried away.

"I'm sorry that I had to leave so suddenly Robert but I…" she started but stopped mid-sentence when he interrupted her.

"Don't apologize, you're a doctor and you're needed sometimes. The scar on my wrist is living proof of that," he chuckled and lifted his hand to look at it again. "Remember when you treated me in the cabin?"

"Oh, I would hardly call that a treatment," she said, closing her eyes with the memory. She wasn't sure if she was ready to go back to the place where it all had started so many months ago. They had carefully sidestepped the subject for some unknown reason but now he brought it up, she realized that it was because they had been afraid to share a memory out in the open. Well, that had been her fear really.

"You eh…ever been back?" he asked softly when it was quiet for a while. He knew that it was time to talk about what connected them; as if they had to overcome a few barriers from the past to accept what was happening in the present time.

"No," she said bluntly but after a little hesitation she decided to be honest. "But that's because I couldn't find my way back." She rubbed her forehead and gulped. God this was difficult. "Have you?"

"Yes. Once," he said, folding his arm over his stomach, "I don't think that Howard and Millie still live there though."

"Charlie and Robin left? I guess the cabin didn't bring them luck in their marriage huh?" she chuckled and shook her head. She loved their banter.

"I wonder if we ever would have met, you know if you hadn't offered me that ride," he suddenly said and she bit her lip when she realized where this was going. He was in a strange mood.

"Well as you said, reversed fate," she answered softly and he turned his head to reach out for the light switch. He needed darkness for this.

"We met too soon, didn't we?" he asked after a little hesitation and that question shot a shiver through her spine, this was getting more intimate than they had yet experienced. It was a strange feeling of relief that _he_ was the one to cross the unspoken line, she might as well ask him what had been going through her mind ever since they met again.

"Robert, can I ask you something?" she started and closed her eyes when she heard his calm approving murmur. She had to ask, she just had to. "What impression do I give now?"

"What?" She rubbed her temple when clearly he didn't understand her.

"I mean as a woman, what impression do I give? You told me that I was unavailable, uninterested, don't look, don't try material. That men didn't notice me hiding in here."

"I said that?" he frowned and laughed softly when she scolded him by saying his name. "I'm messing with you, I know exactly what I said that night. I just needed some time to think about it." He grew silent again.

"Well?" She pressed the phone closer to her ear although she wasn't really sure that she wanted to hear his answer. Her heart started to pound in her chest again, but triggered by a different cause than earlier.

"Well… I think you're much more approachable now," he answered, rubbing his eyes because he couldn't find the right way to express himself. Suddenly he pictured her like he saw her last, a few hours before in the theatre. The way she was staring at him. He could picture her short hair, the graceful neck and the sparkling blue eyes that seemed to reflect her inner beauty. He saw her cheekbones, the little freckles and the loving smile. But mostly he recalled the intense and unsettling way he had reacted, it was exactly the reason he had called her three times this evening until she finally answered the phone. He inhaled deeply. "Now tell me something, are you still not interested in being noticed?"

Her mouth dropped. "Oh eh… I don't know, I mean I do know but I…" she muttered, her cheeks were burning now and her fingers trembled. Then she regained her composure again when she realized he was throwing back the question. She frowned. "Now wait a second… more approachable? That's it? You can't do better than that?"

He laughed his soft low laugh and it made her smile, lying back relaxed with her eyes closed - the ball was on his court again. His reply came fast. "No that's not just it in fact. I think you're very beautiful, elegant, classy, funny, feminine and gracious. Not to mention the fact that you're one of the sexiest women I've ever met," he blurted out and her eyes shot open, lifting herself up from the soft embrace of her bed. He what?

"Robert, I…" She couldn't speak and her heart pounded, all this time she had been waiting to hear him say this and now he had. This couldn't be real, this couldn't be happening. "Thank you," she muttered finally.

He smiled and for a split second his eyes shot towards a picture hanging on his wall, not able to see the image in the darkness. "So…"

"So…," she repeated, sitting up on her knees. "I just…" Goodness, she couldn't form a normal sentence.

"What? Tell me," he encouraged her, his heart had started to beat a little faster and his eyes were wide open, his voice changing from lazy to serious.

"I just…I can't…not now," she said, more shaken up as ever and she swallowed with difficulty. She had no idea what she wanted to say, not a clue as how to proceed; he had left her speechless again. "Can we meet tomorrow perhaps?" One more night, that was all she needed to come to terms – or so she hoped.

"Tomorrow is the block party, you want to skip it?" he asked, hoping that she would agree.

Her laugh sounded shaky and unreal. "You know we can't skip it, I guess we'll see each other there, right?" Her heart was calming down a little and she laid down again, hugging the phone against her ear with both hands.

"Right. Tomorrow it is. Goodnight Catherine, sweet dreams," he said softly, closing his eyes to the sound of her soft whisper. He had said too much, he knew it the second he opened his mouth. He could only hope that he didn't scare her away with his big mouth.

"Goodnight Robert, I…" she swallowed her sentence when she realized that he had broken the connection. Slowly she pressed the phone against her lips, closing her eyes in a desperate attempt to get some control over her reeling mind. God, she was too old for this.

-----

The wind blew her hair back as she made her way over to the Brightman household, two streets away from her home. How in the world they came up with this brilliant idea was beyond her; as if knowing each other would make a difference in their safety. These days not one neighbourhood was safe without the presence of a local police station and alarm systems. Oh, she had to admit that it could be fun to learn the names of the people she passed on her way to work; if only this wouldn't result in everybody stopping her when she tried to run through the grocery store to get it done as fast as possible.

It was getting dark early these days, the sun seemed to set an hour earlier each day and it made her realize once again that winter was knocking on her door, there was no way to escape the cold season ahead. It certainly had it's charm but right now she shivered in her new dress; her long brown coat would have been very appreciated at that point. The lights on the driveway of the Brightman residence welcomed her; sparkling in the night like diamonds – very cute if it weren't for the odd statue of Elvis in the middle.

"Dr. Howard, welcome!" She dragged her eyes away from the glittering statue and smiled politely when the door swung open and the beaming face of Marta Brightman appeared in the doorway, a name tag attached to her chest. Swell, this was going to be a long evening.

Entering the grand living room she accepted a glass of something that looked like champagne from the oldest daughter of the family. The dark headed girl was chewing gum as if her life depended on it and Catherine smiled again when Harold Brightman walked over to her.

"Dr. Howard, so nice of you to fit us in – I know how busy you must be in the hospital!" he exclaimed, with his hand under her elbow he guided her forward towards the table with name tags. She took a step aside when he offered to pin it on her.

"Thank you, I'll manage myself," she answered and quickly she moved over the nearest table, fiddling to pin the darn thing on her new dress without causing too much damage. She took a look around, nodded at a few familiar faces around her and folded her arms, casually holding on to her glass of champagne – after one sip she had decided to place it down where hopefully nobody would notice. It was getting busier by the second, actually it was starting to get a bit crowded where she was standing.

"Dr. Howard, how have you been?" she suddenly heard next to her and she smiled relieved when she recognized the kind face of Mr. Murray – a name tag with Harry on his chest. She had no idea that his name was Harry, this evening brought a few nice things after all.

"Hello! I'm fine, thank you for asking," she answered, nodding at him. She liked the man, he was always very fond of Tom and really went out of his way for him by ordering that special brand of coffee he always preferred. Suddenly she wondered if he still served it in his restaurant.

"How are things in the hospital? I hear you're giving a first aid course now, my daughter attended one!" She smiled politely when he explained how important it was to know CPR and how grateful he was that his daughter finally knew how to act in case of an emergency.

Halfway through the story of how he once had to help a woman who almost choked on a pancake she looked up, a familiar voice came floating towards the living room and her heart skipped a beat. A few seconds later he appeared in the doorway and she smiled brightly when his eyes went through the crowd, stopping and lighting up when he met her gaze. His lips curved upwards when she lifted her hand to wave at him, no longer hearing the voice of Harry Murray who was still talking. She was about to walk over to Robert when behind him the face of his daughter appeared and she froze; she hadn't expected her to be there. Lori looked good though, smiling broadly and making contact right away her into the circle of neighbours.

Amused by the way he immediately turned things to his advantage she observed him as he entered the party. He waved briefly at a few familiar faces and he walked over to her table right away, ignoring the bowl with name tags and declining the champagne with a simple smile. Robert would never do anything against his will – that much was pretty clear to her by now.

"Harry, Catherine – good evening," he said, his eyes never left hers and he smiled his small smile again. The one she felt in her knees. "Hello," she said simply.

"Mr. Woodward, how nice to see you!" Harry exclaimed, shaking the hand of the tall man enthusiastically. "How are you, it's been ages since I served you pancakes!"

"Yeah, have to watch my cholesterol a bit," he grinned back, accepting two glasses of wine from the tray that was held in front of them. "White for you?" he asked Catherine, shoving her glass of sour champagne aside with a determined look on his face. She smiled gratefully, trying to ignore the raised brows of Harry next to her and she was relieved when he found a new person to talk to.

"Alone at last,' he said, taking a sip of his wine. "You've been here long?"

"Oh it feels like hours," she replied, "but not that long, no."

She was glad to have him there, to have someone to talk to. If there was anything she had been avoiding it was social gatherings – not because she didn't like it but because of the heavy realization that she was alone. That was the reason she refused to go to William and Marina – somehow being surrounded by people who were used to having Tom there as well made her feel more alone than when she was at home by herself. And there was no way to explain that to people, she knew they meant well but she couldn't tell them that it only made her feel his loss more. Then to enter a party alone was like a snap back to reality - he wasn't with her anymore. She couldn't explain how hard it was to notice that people were avoiding to talk about him; as if she would break into tears every time she heard his name. She couldn't tell them that every time she came home to an empty and dark house her throat tightened, the silence drenching her like a cold shower. She never told anyone.

And now, after all this time she finally could let that go, finally her heart didn't feel as heavy as lead with laughing people around her. The realization almost made her feel guilty. They chatted a bit about casual and safe topics, leaning against the white round table and drinking wine. It was fun and relaxed but at one point she felt the burning looks of a few guests on her back; she heard the whispers when they passed them – she noticed the way Harry was looking at her.

As if Robert felt it too he walked off to get her a new glass of wine and she leaned over the table, her hands absentmindedly playing with a coaster.

"Hello Hershey Lady!" She turned around and smiled when she recognized Lori – suddenly she felt a bit self conscious, how long had she been talking to Robert? An hour? Two?

"Hello Lori, how nice to see you. How are you? How are your lovely children?" She was babbling and way too enthusiastic she realized.

"They're fine! Mary is a beautiful girl with a very strong mind of her own these days," Lori smiled, "and Michael is a very protective older brother."

"Oh that's nice. You eh…live with your father now?" Suddenly Catherine realized that she didn't know if Robert had told Lori about her, wasn't she crossing a line here?

"Yes I am, I'm looking for my own house though," Lori responded, not giving away if the question surprised her or not.

Catherine scratched behind her ear, not really knowing how to proceed. "That's got to be rough, well I'll ask around for you in the hospital – maybe someone there knows if a house is available."

"Thank you."

For a moment it was silent and Catherine's eyes drifted off in the direction of the bar. Of course, just when she needed him Robert was talking to one of the neighbours.

"He's doing better," Lori suddenly said and swallowed, following Catherine's gaze. "It's been a while since I've seen him this relaxed. He really worried my sister and myself there for quite some time…I'm glad he's found a little joy again."

Catherine felt the words in her stomach, Robert had found joy again. She turned to face Lori and smiled briefly when the young woman blinked a few times. "He's a good man," Lori said with a sudden hoarse voice, "I don't know where I would have been without him. He's strong, blunt, reliable and…" she paused and smiled, "…a pigheaded chauvinist. I hope you can handle him."

Words didn't seem to form in her mouth and she could only nod when Lori squeezed her arm and walked off; she would swear that she saw tears in her eyes. She took a deep breath and didn't manage to smile when Robert approached her again – her face was frozen in a strange tensed expression and he raised a brow.

"Are you all right?" he asked, his face full of concern.

She cleared her throat before she could answer him. "Yes I am, let's mingle."

-----

When the door closed behind him he frowned again, staring at her back as she moved in front of him, turning on the light with a quick movement of her hand. The rest of the evening it seemed like she had been avoiding him; talking with everyone but him. He had tried to get her alone a few times but every time he succeeded she had smiled gently at someone who passed and the moment was gone.

He wondered what could have happened in the five minutes he had spent near the bar, it was like something had changed in her and it worried him. She worried him.

He had insisted on taking her home and she had agreed, for a moment he had seen her smile again, if only for a few seconds and it had felt like a relief. They had rushed towards her home because of the wind that pushed them forward and now they standing there – in a strange tensed mood. She hadn't invited him in; he had just followed her.

"Catherine," he started as she moved into the living room, closing the drapes and turning up the heat. It was indeed chilly inside he realized. "Catherine, what's the matter?" he asked again, his words came out stronger now.

She sat down on the couch, patting on the place next to her. If she was going to be honest he needed to be close. "Come here please," she said, smiling at him briefly before he obeyed her request, loosening his jacket before he did.

When he sat down she smelled his cologne and it made her close her eyes for a split second, everything the man did had an effect on her and he didn't even know it. "We need to talk Robert," she said, shifting in her seat so he could face her.

He raised a brow at her serious tone and an uneasy sensation filled his stomach, waiting patiently for her to finish.

"I had a talk with your daughter earlier," she started, breathing deeply. "And she said something that made me think."

"Lori? What did she say?" he asked, folding his arms as she placed her hands on her lap, her knees pointed in his direction.

"She told me that you're a good man. A pigheaded chauvinistic at times but mostly a good man," she said, avoiding his inquiring look now.

"That's nothing new, so what?" he shrugged, not understanding what was going on.

"And she said that she hoped I would be able to _handle_ you," she continued, finally finding enough courage to look right at him.

"Which is a bad thing because…" he said, hoping she would finish his sentence.

"Robert, she knows. She thinks you and I are an item, don't you see that?" she suddenly exclaimed, frustrated by the way he was sitting there, waiting for her to explain whatever the hell is was she was feeling.

"She thinks you and I are an item…" he repeated softly, leaning a little forward now. Understanding began to dawn. "And you have a problem with that?"

She got up, no longer able to stay seated next to the man who wasn't about to make this easier on her. "Yes I have a problem with that!" she said out loud, hating the fact that her voice came out a little shrill. She inhaled deeply, forcing herself to get calm and when she finally pulled herself together and managed to look at him she spoke again: "I have a problem with that because it's not true."

For a moment it was dead silent, her breath was high in her chest while she looked at him – her heart pounding and her hands trembling. The clock in the living room ticked away the awkward and nerve-breaking seconds in which they didn't speak; in which they just stared at each other. He hesitated for a split second before he got up; walking towards the shaking lady in the centre of the room.

"How can you say it's not true?" he asked when he stood in front of her, reaching out to touch her shoulders.

She shook her head, he still didn't understand it, did he? "Robert, I know that these things take time and I know you're going through a tough time… but when your daughter sees we're involved and the entire damned neighbourhood seems to know…"

"The entire neighbourhood?" he smiled and after a little pause she smiled as well, inhaling deeply to relax a little.

"It's just a metaphor…" she shrugged, feeling his hands warm on her shoulders. She searched for his eyes; looking at her full of concern. They were soft, warm and in the dusky light of her living room as dark as coffee. She smiled briefly, she had to explain to him what she meant before things got out of hand. "I guess what I'm trying to say, in a very immature way, that it's scaring me how good this feels. It's scaring me how happy I am when you're here and it's scary how relieved I was to have someone with me tonight…" Her voice broke and to her own shock and embarrassment tears were slowly forming in her eyes. "I can't tell you how bad I feel for not crying about my husband because there's a new man in my heart who makes me smile…" His hands came up her face but the words kept coming, every sentence came out weaker until it ended in a hoarse whisper. "Robert, when people see that something is going on…" She couldn't continue anymore and she stopped mid-sentence, a tear slowly rolling down her cheek until it reached his hand.

"… you want it to be real because otherwise you would betray your husband for nothing," he finished for her, stroking the soft skin of her cheeks with his fingers, wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

"It's silly I know, but I…" she started, casting her teary eyes away from him. Suddenly she was very aware of the fact how close he was – too close for her to ignore any longer. She could feel him if she wanted to, all she had to do was to bury her face in his chest like she had dreamed of for so long. Oh, she was such an idiot. Why couldn't she just enjoy what was happening inside her? Why couldn't she just wait for something that was bound to happen – he had told her he was attracted to her, what more could she want?

"I asked her to forgive me the other day on the cemetery," he suddenly said in a low voice, releasing her face but not taking a step back. He searched for her eyes again and he smiled briefly when their eyes locked. "Because I realized I was falling in love with another woman."

"Did she forgive you?" she whispered, breathing out slowly through her mouth. She couldn't stop her knees from buckling underneath her, she couldn't stop her fingers from trembling but it was fine. Oh, she couldn't pretend anymore either; with his face so close to hers she couldn't deny it any longer. She was madly in love with him and she needed him. Again or still – that part she wasn't sure of.

"I think she did," he nodded, slowly reaching out to take her trembling hands in to brush his lips against them - as light as a feather. She leaned in, it was like she was drawn to him by an unknown force but she could only react to it, leaning her forehead against his. Suddenly her heart rate slowed down; the sharp nervous feeling in her lower stomach vanished and it was replaced by something else – a sensation of peace came over her like a warm summer rain. She saw him vaguely but he was there – alive and well and she blinked when he released her hands so they came to rest against his chest. Slowly he reached out to encircle her body and she gasped when she felt the heat of his body pressing against hers. His embrace felt warm and comforting and then every thought or doubt left her. She reacted instinctively, her eyes sliding from the darkness of his eyes to his strong chin and back – to come to a halt when she reached his lips. He came closer, close enough so his breath warmed her cheeks and she met him halfway, closing her eyes at the contact. He was soft and demanding at the same time, his lips claiming hers without hesitation and it overwhelmed her; for a moment she froze under his touch but she melted right away when his hands stroke her back gently. He was warm and comforting, thrilling and exciting, tempting and arousing all at once – touching her inner soul with the warmth of his being. She could only react to him like she had dreamed of, leaning into him with an enthusiasm she couldn't recall being part of her. In a strange way it felt like he was digging it up, each and every kiss removing more sand from her covered up want and need – he exposed it all by pressing featherlight kisses on her closed lips and pulling her closer when she asked for more.

Her reaction surprised him a little but he enjoyed it, opening his eyes when she pulled away from him – smiling at him briefly with eyes that seemed to sparkle like diamonds in the late evening light. His head was spinning when he felt her hands move up his face – stroking over his lips with her finger and he kissed her fingertip gently before her arms pulled him closer again. He could only oblige, letting her take control over their embrace and suddenly, without any warning their kiss deepened, meeting each other in the most intimate way. She tasted oh so different but oh so good, he couldn't control his arms any longer and cupped her head with one hand, feeling her soft moan of approval inside him. He smiled against her mouth.

Oh yes, things were about to become real.


	4. Chapter 4

He had no idea how long they had been standing there, no clue as to what time it was. He was only aware of her warm body pressed against his, her whole being was buried in his embrace and he smelled the sweet scent of her perfume. He was simply holding her now, responding to their love in the most sincere way he could think of and gratefully he listened to her calm breathing.  
His hand moved up her neck, slowly tickling the sensitive skin there to get her attention and he felt her smile before she pulled back slowly. Her cheeks were red, gorgeous red, and when he met her gaze he was struck by the emotion in her eyes. Oh she was happy, no question about that, but there was something else in the blue depth of her eyes that made him realize once more that this evening they had stepped over a line and that there was no way back. Thank God there was no way back.

"Well…" he sighed, stroking her soft cheek once again. "I have to get going."

"You've said that about eight times already," she smiled and took a deep breath when he slowly leaned in to claim her lips once again. She had no idea how many times they had kissed this evening, every time their conversation seemed to get going somewhere one of them had given into the urge for feeling the other again. For hours they had been sitting on the couch to talk, enjoy the pleasure of each other's company and basically to float on air. Now they were standing in her hallway, he was leaning with his back against the front door with her as a perfect fit in his arms. They were acting like teenagers but she didn't care, the feelings he brought out in her were addictive and she could only ask for more.

"You really have to get going," she murmured against his lips, giggling when she heard his frustrated groan. She meant it though, she needed to be alone for a while to grasp this entire evening.

He pressed one last kiss on her lips before he finally pulled back. "Since things are real now…" he paused and grinned when her cheeks deepened in colour. "Are you free for dinner tomorrow night?" he asked, closing his jacket. "I think you should come and meet my daughters officially. Jaclyn came home this evening but she wasn't in the mood for the block party. Tomorrow would be a fine opportunity to show you off."

This sudden jump back to reality surprised her and she blinked, smiling at him when he raised a brow at her. "You don't waste any time do you?" she asked, reaching out to cup his cheek with her palm.

"I thought you wanted to get things moving?" he inquired and pressed a kiss against the inside of her wrist. She smiled when he squinted his eyes to study her expression.

"I do…" She realized he was both teasing her and getting her to open up. It had always been difficult for her, to be completely honest to someone else or herself when it came to her emotions. The fact that the man in front of her had turned into her partner instead of her friend only made it harder.

"But not this fast huh?" he chuckled, pulling her a little closer against him again so her hands came to rest on his chest. He planted a kiss on her forehead. "Oh just come to dinner, it's high time that you come into my house don't you agree?" His breath stirred her hair and she pulled back, meeting his amused eyes.

"You're not used to someone saying no, are you?" she grinned and after a little pause she nodded. "Thank you, I would love to come."

His smile was brief but grateful and she smiled back, swallowing when he reached out to take both her hands in his. It would take her a while before she would be used to all this. He squeezed her hands gently, rubbing with his thumbs over her palms. "I eh… I'm glad we did this," he said in a low voice. A boyish twinkle appeared in his eyes when he continued: "And that's an understatement."

She blushed, she couldn't help it. "I'm just very grateful for a certain blizzard," she said softly, her voice sounded a bit hoarse, a sign that it was getting very late. He didn't release her hands just yet, his grip was firm and warm and she stepped in a little closer – close enough so she could smell his cologne once more. Oh, she loved that scent.

Her eyes were close, so close that he could see how large her pupils were; he could almost count the little freckles on her forehead. He swallowed but suddenly his mouth felt dry. "You're beautiful Catherine," he said softly. It was the only sentence he could think of, the only way to sum up what he was feeling, the only words that would form on his lips. He shook his head; his voice wasn't as clear and strong as he would have liked it to be. "You're so beautiful…"

She smiled at his compliment and sighed deeply. She couldn't find words to respond to this really. She had responded all evening and now the peaceful silence between them was enough. When he leaned in to bid her goodnight for the last time she felt the urge to lock the door behind him to keep him there forever. Yet she didn't protest when he opened it and stepped outside, blowing her a hand kiss before he walked off into the silence of the night. "Tomorrow!" was the last thing she heard.

After she quietly closed the door she leaned back against it, covering her eyes with both hands and she sighed. She could still smell him in the air, she could still feel his arms around her, boy she could even still taste him and it left her nothing less than unglued. He had swept her off her feet and he knew it, there had been a confident look in his eyes all evening; the uncertainty that she felt was nowhere to be found in him. Not so much uncertainty for what was unfolding between them but the insecurity about her own behaviour and her emotions that were fighting a battle inside. That damned self-confidence of his would always tip her off balance; as if he didn't feel the unsettling and discomforting effect of stepping in a new relationship. In one moment, one glorious romantic mind blowing moment, they had changed their friendship, their connection, their thoughts of the present and their hopes for the future. By admitting their love they had also decided to make a change and that was, to say the least, intense. Thrilling, but intense.  
She stepped away from the comforting support of the door and moved through her hallway on her way to the living room. In the corner of her eye she caught her reflection in the big mirror on the wall and she turned her head, hesitating a little before she took a step closer. She studied her own appearance; her breath came out little faster as she absorbed the image. Her eyes were open wide, her lips were swollen and her cheeks and neck had some sort of deep red colour that she hadn't seen on herself in years. The feelings that had been rushing through her body before showed clearly in her face and she looked different, a realization that startled her. Touching her warm skin she breathed out slowly, tilting her head as she leaned in even closer and her warm breath condensed on the cold glass. She pressed her lips. Oh she couldn't just call it excitement, it was not as simple as such although it had been running through her body in unexpected waves earlier. No it was more, what she radiated wasn't just about love and excitement. She swallowed. She radiated life.  
Reaching out to turn off the light in the hallway she froze in mid air, staring at her hand and well manicured nails. He had held it all evening, rubbing her palm, kissing her fingertips and at one point he had even massaged her fingers. And all the while she hadn't seen it although it was very much there. She hadn't felt the memory standing between them, hadn't noticed the sign of a former life visible on her hand, no she hadn't thought of Tom one time. Not until now.  
Slowly she moved onto the stairs, letting herself sink down on the dark blue rug of her staircase and lifted her hand to touch her lips with her fingertips. She had kissed another man tonight for the first time in 31 years. She let another man touch her this evening. She had enjoyed the feeling of his hands on her back and on her neck, she had relished the feeling of being touched again. Absentmindedly she turned the golden band around her finger as she had done countless times, narrowing her eyes so she could study the tiny scratches on the surface. One scratch for each year Tom always said. Oh, it had been there since forever but she remembered the moment it was slid on her finger in that little chapel as if it was yesterday, surrounded by their family and closest friends. She and Tom felt like they were connected for eternity, thank God they didn't know then how and when it was going to end.  
Closing her eyes she touched the gold, turning it around one more time. She breathed in deeply, realizing that she was about to do the inevitable and she swallowed as a lump appeared in her throat. It was time. Inch by inch she removed the ring from her finger, pressing a loving kiss on it before she hid it in the safety of her hand. Her other hand came up to wipe a single tear from her cheek. Goodbye Tom. Hello Robert.

-----

"Where the hell have you been?" Jaclyn stood in the doorway with nothing more than sheer terror on her face, a cell phone loosely in her hand. "I've been worried sick about you!"

"Something about this rings a bell," he grinned, passing her to get into the warmth of his own house. "I can't remember how many times I told you and your sister the very same thing."

"Not funny dad, you could have called you know. Do you realize what time it is?" Jacklyn continued, frowning when her father didn't seem to listen and walked straight into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

"No I don't, and I'm not interested in it either," he stated, attempting to climb up the stairs but stopping in his tracks when he felt the hand of his daughter on his shoulder. "What Jaclyn?"

"Were you with _her_?" Her voice was soft and lacked any accusation, yet he felt an annoyed sting in his stomach. He was in the mood to lie on his bed in the dark and go over this evening over and over again until he fell asleep. Not to defend his whereabouts to his daughter.

"_Her_ name is Catherine. And not that it's any of your business but yes I was," he said, feeling sorry right away when he saw the glum look on his daughter's face. He sighed and shook his head. "You shouldn't have worried about me sweetheart, you know I always find my way home."

"I sure hope so," Jaclyn replied and the sarcastic tone in her voice didn't escape his notice. For a moment he hesitated but decided to drop the bomb on her right away, he never made a secret out of anything and he wasn't about to start.

"She's coming to dinner tomorrow evening so you can get to know her a little better," he said in a light tone but he was very aware of the effect of his words. For a split second he saw the dark glance in his daughter's eyes but she recovered from it quickly. As she should.

"Oh, well I better dress up for the occasion," she said, attempting to smile but her smile froze on her face when her father turned around and climbed up the stairs. His hair was a total mess from behind.

"Goodnight sweetheart."

When he entered his bedroom he was out of his clothes in no time, throwing them impatiently on his chair before he fell down on his bed. He groaned when he saw the red lights on his alarm clock, reminding him that the next day was only a few hours away. Boy how time could fly when one was having fun. And he had fun this evening, no question about that. He hadn't expected to declare his love to her this evening but it turned out to be for the best. They needed each other; it was stating the obvious really. He had no problem changing what was going on between them, more than that it was a natural thing to do and that realization surprised him a little. In all fairness, he had expected it to be awkward to kiss someone else instead of the familiar lips of his wife but not once during the past evening had he experienced that emotion. In fact he had relished the feeling of a warm body against him, two loving arms around his neck and a smile inches away from his face. It had been enough to feel just that, to realize that he was still capable of loving someone, to realize that life still had enough to offer when the hurt and grief had settled down a bit. He was happy, for the first time in God knew how many months he felt happy without guilt pulling him back and that sense of freedom was addictive. She was addictive.  
He could still recall the first time he had seen her in that room in the hospice and he had sensed right away that she was alone. Oh so very much alone. The hidden grief in her eyes when she looked at him and the self-protection in her attitude as she turned away from him would be etched in his mind forever. This evening he had felt that she had given him the privilege to take a peak inside her soul, the warmth that he knew was there had finally reached the surface. She finally opened up to him, she finally…trusted him.  
He opened his eyes; all of a sudden he could picture her alone in that big house of hers. He could see her moving around in her kitchen all by herself, climbing the stairs alone, warming her cold feet and falling asleep all alone. He knew that she was used to being on her own but it hadn't felt right to leave her earlier, he wanted to keep her close until daytime broke the spell. Strange, all this time they had lived without each other and although he had often thought about her, he knew that they couldn't be together yet. And now they were together and he was acting so foolish that he never wanted to leave her again, in fact he had to fight the urge to get out of bed and to go over there. He couldn't and he wouldn't, he should try to get some sleep if he wanted to be able to visit the site the next day. She would be in his arms soon enough.

-----

"Catherine, do you want something else to drink? I mean we have something other than tea!" Lori held the pot with steaming tea up and raised her brow at their dinner guest.

"No thank you, this is just fine," Catherine answered and held up her cup for another round of tea, gratefully smiling at Robert when he entered the living room as well. She wasn't at ease to sit here alone with his daughters and grandchildren while he was making a phone call in the other room, she was there for over about half an hour now and the conversation seemed to stop after the polite chit chat. She was very relieved to see him come back and she bounced a little on the blue soft pillows when he sat down again. For a second their eyes met and the corners of his mouth curved upwards when she cleared her throat. She was convinced that he knew she was a little uncomfortable, something she shouldn't be really. She looked around the living room again, taking in the atmosphere of the charming house. It was clean in there but it was obvious that Lori helped her father out a lot. Somehow the fresh flowers that surrounded them didn't express Robert's input.  
Lori was a nice young woman, polite and charming as she had expected her to be. Her children were a joy; she could very well imagine that they were Robert's source of happiness around the house. Michael was a polite little boy, he even shook her hand when she entered their house and now he was sitting on the floor behind the coffee table, staring at her with his big brown eyes. His little sister crawled around on the floor before her, pulling herself upwards by grabbing Catherine's skirt with both hands. It was a welcome distraction, she couldn't deny that.

"Very good Mary!" she exclaimed, quickly placing down her cup and extending her index fingers so the child could grab them and stand a little steadier. "She's fast isn't she?" she asked Lori, laughing as the infant walked away from her, forcing her to get up and move along with her.

"Are you kidding? Now she knows she's capable of this she refuses to do anything else," Lori smiled and got up herself to release Catherine from walking around for hours with her daughter. "Come here you, there…sit with your auntie"

She planted the child on her sister's lap who raised her brow at the unexpected gesture but welcomed her niece right away. "Oh hi sweetie! Yes, you come sit here right with me. Here, have a cookie…oh don't look at me like that," she said, her last words clearly directed at her sister.

Catherine smiled at the family matters at hand and took a careful sip of her steaming tea, it was nice to see that the two sisters got along. She didn't know that much about Jaclyn really, just that she worked in a gallery and that she was planning on moving in with her boyfriend.

"So, will you do the cooking this evening?" she asked and sat back on the couch, raising a brow at the tall man next to her.

Robert grinned. "When I have a wonderful cook to do it for me? Slim chance!"

Lori smirked. "He knows how to cook Catherine, don't let him trick you into it!"

"I trick _her_ into cooking?" he laughed out loud now. "Yeah sure, that'll happen. You still owe me those scones by the way!" With those last words he nudged her side and she blushed at the sudden contact, somehow it felt awkward to feel his hand on her with his entire family witnessing it.

"You're embarrassing her dad," Jaclyn's voice sounded soft but she was clearly heard nonetheless, he pulled his hand back immediately and cleared his throat. Catherine scratched behind her head, smiling politely at Lori who caught her glance. Boy, this was awkward. Silence flooded the living room like a cold stream of water and she felt insecure because of it, she had no idea how to change this unknown and uneasy tension into the warm and cozy atmosphere that Robert wanted and deserved. What on earth was she doing here?

"So…" she started but before she could finish Jaclyn spoke up again. "I'm going to check on dinner, I'll be right back." She got up and handed the protesting little girl back to her mother, extending her hand to her nephew who smiled gratefully at her. "Come honey, you can help me!"

When she had left the room Catherine shifted in her seat and finished her tea, glancing aside at Robert as she placed her cup on the table before her. He winked at her as to reassure her and she smiled briefly when he placed his arm behind her again, feeling how his hand warmed the small of her back. This time she welcomed it and she leaned back into it a little, looking up when Lori cleared her throat.

"I eh… I'm going to put Mary to bed," she said and got up as well, leaving her father and his guest behind on the couch. She grinned. Boy, three was definitely a crowd.

On her way to the nursery Lori passed the kitchen and glanced inside, finding her sister stirring the stew with a little too much force and she shook her head as she walked in. She had expected this.

"Jaclyn, what are you doing?" she asked softly, "It's a stew, not mashed potatoes you know."

With a bang her sister placed down the spoon she was using. "I know."

"All right, what's the problem?" Lori asked, placing Mary in the baby chair.

Jaclyn sighed and folded her arms as she leaned back against she sink. "Nothing, I'm acting like a child so ignore me please. It's just that…"

"Dad is seeing another woman," Lori finished for her and struck the same pose. "I know, it's a bit difficult to see him with someone other than mom. But she's nice, you can't deny that. And he seems to be happy with her."

Her sister shook her head. "I know but still, I have a little trouble with seeing her sitting on mom's couch and drinking out of mom's cups. I'm sorry, I said I was acting like a child! I'm a horrible person and I shouldn't say this but I hate to see dad hooking up with someone else. As nice and sweet as she may be." For a moment it was silent and they watched Mary playing with a napkin in her chair. When Jaclyn spoke again her voice sounded soft and she glanced aside, meeting her sister's gaze. "Do you think it's serious?"

"Well…" Lori started and took Jaclyn's hand, taking her with her to the half open kitchen door and she pointed at the two people on the couch. "Look at them, do you think it's serious?" she whispered.

"Are we spying on them now?" Jaclyn hissed but stuck her head through the door anyway, swallowing with difficulty as she studied the objects of their conversation. They were talking, thank God they were just talking, and their heads were close together. Her father was stroking Catherine's back and her face expressed interest in what he was saying, nodding along with his comments. Now she was shaking her head and she pulled her hands through her hair, explaining something to him with lots of gestures. He seemed to understand her after just a few words and he smiled at her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and saying something they couldn't understand. She leaned her head against his shoulder in a response.

"See? He's smitten," Lori whispered. "They both are."

"Yeah okay, I get your point," Jaclyn said, frowning when the duo on the couch stopped talking and looked at each other for a moment. "Oh god, if he kisses her I'll throw up," she moaned.

"Mom, why are you and auntie Jaclyn looking at grandpa?" Michael suddenly said out loud and the two sisters jumped back into the kitchen, slamming the door shut in a hasty movement. For a moment they were dead silent and stared at each other but then they burst out into uncontrolled laughter.

In the living room Catherine and Robert turned around on the couch, raising a brow at the sudden outburst in the kitchen. "They were looking at us," Catherine stated more than she asked, glancing at Robert who was frowning now.

"So I heard," he said and the serious tone in his voice didn't escape her.

"Love, you just tried to convince me all of this is because they have to get used to us and now you're surprised that they're looking at us? I'm not!" she smiled, trying to get him to look at her by tilting his chin towards her. When he finally did his eyes were a shade darker and she wondered if he was angry.

"I can't wait to be alone with you," he suddenly said in a low voice and reached out to take her hand in his. "Are you on call tonight? Any chance that they'll take you away from my attention?"

She blushed a little and couldn't suppress a smile. "No, I'm all yours," she grinned, feeling how her cheeks burned up even more. Why did everything have to sound so suggestive? She patted his knee when his smile appeared to be a little too enthusiastic. "First we have to sit through dinner, remember?"

-----

The streets were deserted, the moon was barely visible through the cloudy sky and the wind playfully relieved the trees of their last leaves in the cold night air. Inside the car soft jazz music played and Robert hummed along, tapping with his finger on the steering wheel.

"It's really ridiculous that you're driving me home," Catherine said once again, glancing aside at the designated driver of the evening. "We could have walked you know, we don't live that far apart."

"You're forgetting that I have to walk back all by myself and it's not safe out there. Didn't you learn anything from the safety talk on the block party?" he asked and shrugged. "Besides, it's getting colder."

"That I can't deny," she said, smiling at his fast response. "Dinner was all right, wasn't it?" She meant it, strangely enough when Lori and Jacklyn came out of the kitchen they were acting more relaxed and that had an effect on her as well. The other half of the evening had turned out to be quite nice, give or take a few awkward silent moments. "Your grandchildren are a joy Robert."

"Thank you," he smiled, turning another corner. "They seemed to like you too, usually they're not so comfortable with people they don't know but you know your way with kids of course. You would have been a great mother yourself."

She blinked, his sudden compliments always caught her off guard and she couldn't deal with them that well all the time. Especially not when they referred to her deeper wants and needs in life. Sometimes she forgot how much she had shared with him already. "Thank you," she simply said and grew silent, staring outside at the quiet neighbourhood. She was almost home she noticed.

"Jaclyn looks a lot like you," she said when he turned off the engine and the music stopped playing, creating a noticeable abrupt silence. He unbuckled his seatbelt, immediately shifting in his seat so he could do hers as well. She giggled when he didn't succeed right away and placed her hand on his to do it herself.

"Yeah I know. I don't want to talk about them anymore," he said in a low voice and she turned her head, meeting his gaze not far away from her.

"What do you want to talk about Mr. Woodward? Football? Politics? The risk of giving birth at home as opposed to the hospital?" she asked in a teasing voice but she was very aware of his intentions. She had felt it all evening during dinner, his leg had brushed hers several times and at one point he even had the nerve to squeeze her thigh under the table. When Lori commented on her red cheeks she had blamed it on the spicy food, she wasn't sure that they believed her though.

"I don't want to talk at all," he murmured, cupping her warm cheek with his hand and pulling her a little closer. His thumb caressed her half open mouth, stroking her bottom lip with such delicacy that she closed her eyes. Deep down in her body something was brought to life that she didn't recognize at first but when he pressed his lips on hers she realized that it was pure desire. Their first kisses only a day ago were all about love and deep emotion but the intensity of these caresses was so much more than that. Just the feeling of his lips moving against hers was enough to make her shiver and she reacted to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him just as much as he was kissing her, neither of them received or gave more, it was an endless and eager game that their lips played. He was the one to deepen the kiss this time, pleading her to open up for him and she responded, meeting him halfway. She tasted a faint image of coffee and dark chocolate and it melted her heart, knowing that he would taste the same in her. The kiss seemed endless; every time she thought that he would pull back he simply turned his head and took control over her body and mind once more. She could only give into the feelings that were dancing in the pit of her stomach and around her heart, relishing the sensation of his hands roaming over her back. Oh, how much she had missed physical contact with a man and she never even realized it. But he awaked it all in her, her heart was pounding and her breath came out uncontrolled as he broke the kiss to drift off to her neck. Inch by inch he found his way downwards and she turned her head to let him, keeping her eyes shut to not break the spell. She breathed in through her half open mouth and she couldn't suppress a soft moan that seemed to sound ten times louder in the silence of the car. Oh God, he was turning her on here and not just a little. Restlessly she reached out to him, gripping his collar in a useless attempt to get some control over their embrace and their lips met again, even more hungry now. He caressed her neck and back with both hands and suddenly she felt a rush of impatience shooting through her. The hell with it, she wanted to feel him on other places of her body too and she reached out when he didn't leave the safety of her neck on his own, taking his hand in her warm and slightly trembling grip. Still kissing him she moved his hand from her neck downwards, sliding down her body slowly and careful, feeling him smiling against her lips as he realized her intentions. When they reached her knee she released his hand, leaving him caressing the skin there and slid her own hand under his jacket. He didn't need much more encouragement and let his hand climb higher, pulling her leg a little upwards. He tickled the back of her knee under her tight skirt and she groaned frustrated when he tried to pull her on his lap and she hit her knee against the steering wheel and bounced back in her seat. Unwillingly she broke their kiss, opening her eyes to meet his dark gaze right in front of her. The windows were fogged from inside, creating an ambiance that was so intimate and so protective that she forgot all about her earlier doubts and fears.

"Do you want to come inside?" she asked him softly, not realizing what those words caused inside him. She had no idea how much commotion was going on beneath that tough exterior, no idea how much she had knocked him sideways. It had been a while for both of them and it only increased their passion towards each other, that almost unbearable urge to touch and to be touched. He wanted her, that much he had known for quite some time now, but his desire had reached a new high now. He could only nod in response.

-----

She didn't care about the drapes that she still had to shut downstairs, didn't care about the heat that she had to turn up and didn't care about double locking the front door. It was enough to hear the world close behind them and she moved in front of him with his hand firmly in hers, guiding him towards the stairs and up to her bedroom. He followed suit, stopping her halfway to press her against the wall and kiss her until she was breathless. Their hands were moving non-stop, trying to feel as much skin as possible as they made their way upstairs. When they finally reached the closed door of her bedroom she turned around and he saw it again, that warm glance in her eyes that was only meant for him. She avoided his lips when he tried to kiss her again and her face grew serious when she reached out to the handle, opening the door of her bedroom and her life for him.

He blinked as he followed her inside, smelling her clean scent stronger than anywhere else in the house. It was dark, too dark to see anything but she moved around in the bedroom, closing the drapes in front of the window and finally she turned on the lamp on her nightstand, creating a subtle glow of warm light. He looked around and swallowed as he took in his surroundings, suddenly frozen in his movements when he realized where he was.  
She turned around and he pressed his lips together when their eyes locked and she sat back on her bed, extending her hand to invite him closer. Oh how much he longed to touch that perfect skin, to kiss those perfect lips until they were swollen and to taste every inch of her body. In any other circumstances he wouldn't have thought twice but now he did and he wasn't able to move a muscle. It wasn't right.

"Robert?" she raised a brow when he didn't move but stayed where he was, in an unsettling way he seemed to be glued to the ground. "Robert, what's wrong?" she urged again and she got up from the bed, walking towards the tall man in front of her.

He didn't smile at her, neither did he frown. He just looked at her, reaching out to touch her warm cheek. God she was so beautiful. "Catherine, I can't," he suddenly said, feeling her jaw drop under his hand. She took a step back and he shook his head when she sank down on the bed slowly, her eyes widened from shock. "No honey, hear me out please. It's not you, it's me. I can't do it… _here_."

She blinked. "You what?" She couldn't believe that he was pulling back now she was finally ready to move forward.

"Please, just…" he started, pointing at the wall behind her and at her nightstand. "I can't make love to you when there's such…an audience."

She turned her head and glanced at the direction he was pointing at, blinking before she met his gaze again. "You mean…"

He moved towards her and gestured at the bed. "Can I?" he asked.

She nodded and he sat down next to her, taking her hand in his again. "Sweetheart, he's everywhere. Can you understand?" He looked around again, seeing Tom's face staring at him from several picture frames. The closest and biggest one was on her nightstand, smiling broadly at them dressed in a tuxedo. Right in front of it was a pair of male glasses flanked by a single rose. How could he sleep with the man's wife for God's sake?

For a second she was speechless, suddenly she looked at her room with eyes of an outsider and she hid her face between her hands in a helpless gesture, she had never felt more embarrassed in her life. "I'm sorry Robert, I should have thought about this before. It's just that I'm used to…" she couldn't finish her sentence because he removed her hands from her face.

"Don't do this please," he said, shaking his head. "Don't think that I don't understand, believe me, if there's anyone who knows what it's like it's me."

"I know," she smiled, sighing deeply and she glanced around her again. The number of pictures was indeed a bit too much but they had given her a lot of comfort in her lonely hours here. But she couldn't deny that it could be a bit intimidating for a new lover.

"And that wallpaper is very… blue!" he suddenly said out loud and she looked up, seeing the twinkle in his eyes that she loved so much. His casual tone calmed her down and the ease of their relationship was immediately back between them.

"What's wrong with blue?" she asked, placing a hand in her side. "I happen to like blue."

"I like blue too but there's also something as too much blue. And this wallpaper is too damned blue," he stated, grinning when she slapped his shoulder. "Ouch!"

"You just love to offend me, don't you?" she shook her head but her eyes twinkled, stroking his shoulder lovingly now.

He grew silent, realizing once more that they were more together than both realized. Even though this wasn't the moment to be together in the physical sense of the word but this meant more to him than anything else. As thrilling and exciting as those moments in the car might have been, this was what it all came down to really.

"No, I simply love you," he said, reaching out to brush a lock of hair behind her ear. She breathed in deeply. His words shot through her body like a bolt of lightning, swirling down her stomach and nestling warmly around her heart.

"I love you too," she whispered and before she realized what happened he wrapped both arms around her, holding her close to his heart. Their embrace seemed to last for hours and it was warm and comforting, familiar and new at the same time. It was so intimate to just sit there with him on her bed and she nestled against him even more, inhaling his masculine scent. Suddenly she felt exhausted but she couldn't say goodbye just yet. Even though they wouldn't make love this evening she couldn't let him go, she felt too fragile and too shaky to be alone right now.

"Robert?" she murmured, pulling back a little so she could face him. "Will you stay with me? Just… be with me?"

The shy look on her face warmed his heart and he smiled, kicking off his shoes in a silent answer. She smiled back and pressed her lips together as he climbed further on the bed, the familiar feeling of someone denting the mattress next to her was overwhelming. Neither of them cared about their clothes that would be wrinkled the next day, neither of them cared about anything anymore. Slowly he lied down on his back, extending his arm so she could crawl against him after she had turned off the light, placing her head on the soft area between his shoulder and chest. He pressed a single kiss on her forehead when she placed her arm on his stomach and their fingers entwined. She swallowed when she realized that his ring was gone but she didn't comment on it, she just breathed in deeply and cherished this feeling of safety and comfort. It was enough for now.

"Catherine?" His voice sounded lazy and she turned her head to look at him but he prevented that by placing his hand on her head and playing with her hair with his fingers.

"Hmm?" she whispered, pressing a kiss on the crisp fabric of his shirt.

"Why do I smell peanut butter?"

-----

She wrinkled her nose as she judged the dish of the day and decided to let it be just that, she wasn't in the mood for spicy Indian food and reached out to a club sandwich in stead. Combined with a cup of coffee and an orange for dessert it would be enough to keep her satisfied for the rest of the day.  
Her eyes scanned the room as she entered the cafeteria and she smiled when she saw the familiar face of William in the crowd. He was peeling an apple and waved at her as she made her way over to him, smiling broadly doing so.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" he asked, studying her tray as she sat down.

"I don't like Chicken Takka Masala, sue me," she grinned, unwrapping her knife and fork from her folded napkin.

"It's been a while since we had lunch together," he stated and took a bite of his apple, raising a brow at her. "How are you?"

She smiled broadly, avoiding his inquiring look as she took her first bite. "I'm fine, thank you! How are you? And Marina?"

He smiled briefly. "Well we're concerned about you, we haven't seen much of you lately. Actually we wanted to invite you for dinner, if you're interested of course!"

For a moment she hesitated and placed down her sandwich, suddenly feeling very awkward sitting here across the table and facing one of her good friends in life. And he had no idea what she was up to because she had been too chicken to tell him. "Of course, I would love to come," she said enthusiastically and after a little hesitation she inhaled deeply. "Can I bring a guest?" she asked and he almost dropped what was left of his apple, staring at her in surprise.

"Are you seeing someone?" he asked a little too loud and she glanced around her before she nodded, for a second she was afraid to see disapproval in his eyes but then he smiled and lowered his voice, leaning towards her over the table. "Well I'll be damned! I'm happy for you Catherine, I really am. Who's the lucky man?"

She couldn't believe that it was this easy but it was, he never frowned or judged her, he expressed nothing but interest in her and it lightened her heart. It felt like it was the last thing to do, to come out and say that she was indeed seeing someone. Expressing it out loud made it more real to her but it felt right, it was like the truth had hit her finally. Even though her cheeks burned when she told William his name she was happy and proud. She was deeply in love with Robert Woodward and there was nothing wrong with that.

-----

"Can you finally tell me where we're going please?" she asked again, frowning when he didn't answer her but whistled along with an annoying tune on the radio.

"Yes I can but I don't want to," he said, glancing aside to wink at her and grinned at her annoyed face. "Patience doctor, we're almost there!"

She glanced outside, taking in the forest that spread out around them and she knew that he wouldn't tell her, he loved to tease her and he wouldn't give in for sure. "We're invited for dinner with William and Marina," she said, turning in her seat to look at him. "And I accepted it."

"Oh, is that your colleague? The guy with the beard right?" he asked, turning the steering wheel once again. "So now it's my turn to be judged? Will I be able to understand your medical talk all evening?"

"He's a nice guy and loves to play pool, maybe you can learn that," she teased, poking him in the side and he chuckled, avoiding her touch.

She sighed deeply and she felt light, free and relaxed. As she should be really, it was as if the whole world made sense again. She was sitting here with the man she loved, they were on their way to a surprise and the sun was shining outside, peeking through the naked trees as if to wink at her. She smiled.

"We're almost there," he suddenly said and she gasped when she recognized the surroundings, staring at him with big eyes as he turned off the engine. She had never expected to return to this place.

"Why are we here?" she asked and raised a brow when he got out of the car, moving around it to open her car door and assisting her to exit it as well.

"You'll see," he stated, smiling broadly as she blinked and stared at the place where it all had begun. It looked different without being covered with a thick layer of snow but she remembered every inch of the cabin. She frowned when she saw smoke coming out of the chimney but her eyes twinkled.

"I thought you said that Charlie and Robin don't live here anymore," she said, giving him a sideward glance as he held up his arm for her and guided her towards the front door.

"They don't," he said, reaching out into his pocket to take out a key and dangled it in front of her widening eyes. "But they left me the key, isn't that nice of them? This time I don't have to repair a window."

For a moment she was frozen to the ground, her heart started to pound when realization hit her. She gasped but a smile curved her lips right away when he turned the key in the lock and opened the door for her. "You told me that you only went back once," she said and entered the cabin, taking in her surroundings with a broad smile. It was warm inside, she smelled the familiar scent of the crackling wood in the fireplace, she saw the familiar couch and she felt at home right away.

He took his coat off and placed it on the nearest chair. "I did go back once," he stated with a smile, "And the place was for sale." His eyes sparkled as he continued: "It could come in handy for many purposes you know, I figured that we needed a place for us. Here it's just about you and me isn't it?" He turned her around and removed her coat as well, throwing it on top of his.

She nodded and titled her head towards him as he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her closer. "Yes this is about you and me."

"As it should be," he said in a low voice and then he smiled briefly, "Do you believe in second chances?"

Her smile faded out but her eyes stayed warm and loving as she looked at the man that occupied her heart, hopefully for many years to come. "I never did, but now I do," she whispered, closing her eyes when he leaned in to press a kiss on her cheek.

"Are you on call tonight? Any chance that they'll take you away from my attention?" he mumbled against her skin and she blushed a little, wrapping her arms around his neck and shaking her head in response. He moved his lips to her neck.

"I'm all yours Mr. Woodward," she moaned and she felt his breath on her ear when he mumbled something, a sentence that warmed her heart and rushed butterflies through her entire body.

"You want me to pick you up and carry you?"


End file.
